Here's how his first post starts:
John Hinckley Jr. tried to kill Ronald Reagan on March 30, 1981. It was a Monday. I was informed of this by my third grade teacher (Burna Pribula) after coming inside from morning recess. "I have some news that may shock you," she told the class. "The president has been shot." The room remained silent. We stared at her like tiny, Smurf-obsessed zombies. "This is a terrible situation," Mrs. Pribula continued, "and I realize you might have some questions about this. Does anyone have any questions about this? Anyone?"
We sat in silence.
After 10 seconds, I slowly raised my hand.
"Is the basketball game canceled?"