Friday, March 7, 2008

Fake Steve Jobs writes about messing with used car salesmen

So I know this is kind of sick but one thing I really like to do is screw around with car salesmen. Like I'll be bored or something or just driving up the highway and I'll see a car lot and I'll say to myself, Jobso, it's go time. I do this a lot. I know. It's fucking evil and I'm wasting their time. What can I tell you? It's so easy. I mean they're just sitting there waiting for you to come in and fuck with them.

Little example. Yesterday I'm driving past Stevens Creek Toyota in San Jose and I can't resist. It's lunchtime, I've just smoked just a tiny bit of weed in my car and I don't have any appointments until three. So in I go, trying to look a bit lost and daffy, like a bleeding swimmer drifting into a pool of sharks, and boom -- like that, a dude named Hassan is all over me.

I tell him I'm looking for a used minivan. He sits me down and we go through his list of what he's got on the lot and we settle on a 1999 Sienna with a hundred and forty-five thousand miles. Now here's what's amazing. The guy is so hungry for a sale that he doesn't think to wonder why a guy who just drove up in a five hundred thousand dollar Mercedes SLR McLaren Roadster is shopping for a shitbox minivan. He also has no idea who I am. I mean he takes my license and makes a copy of it and calls me Mr. Jobs but still has no idea. I mean it's clear he has no idea. The reason? I'm not in uniform. I'm wearing a baseball cap and a white Oxford shirt. This always works. It's amazing.

I'm telling you, go read the rest. Funniest thing I've read in ages.