This one by "Alan" is my favorite so far:
Bugs are everywhere! Do you know where they go when you are sleep? Where they lay their eggs? Where they feed?
It has been reported in some magazines and TV programs that bugs enter the ears and mouth of people who are sleeping almost every day. Bugs are always looking for a dark place to lay their eggs and nurture their young. Are you safe from their gnawing mandibles? The ear or sinus cavity are a perfect place for a voracious bug to lay their eggs. For $49.95 you can buy "Bug Shield". Blocks out flesh eating insects while you sleep.
There's many many more.