Friday, March 13, 2009

Mickey Mouse teaches the Jonas Brothers some respect (link roundup)

South Park mocks the Jonas Brothers and their ridiculous purity rings and thoroughly perverts Mickey Mouse. This reminds me of Lisa Schwarzbaum's review of the Jonas Brothers movie for EW:

As for the extra-cool format the movie is shot in, not much happens in Disney Digital 3-D that couldn't have happened in Disney Five Minutes Ago 2-D — except for one 
unintentionally, hilariously, subliminally dirty bit that will be lost (I hope) on the fervent crowd. I refer to the moment where the 
boys grab big fire hoses, hold them hoses...and spray the heads of their moaning girl fans with thick geysers of, um, foam. The girls respond by holding up their lighted little wands. The whole sequence becomes so phallic that the movie seems to be breaking loose toward Spinal Tap territory. Then it 
 returns safely to Disney earth with the 
 heavenly message encoded in the boys' finger jewelry: Abstinence only, kids!
I assume it's because the Jonas Brothers movie is tanking so badly - - I got an email from Focus Films that Coraline was back in 3D theaters.

And a few more links:

1. Roger Ebert's reviews are almost worthless in terms of deciding whether to see the movie or not, but they sure are a joy to read. For example, his review of Last House on the Left includes this gem:
Not many unseasoned audience members will find the 2009 rape scene "toned down," and indeed I found it painful to watch. In the 2005 film, it was so reprehensibly and lingeringly sadistic, I found it unforgivable. So now my job as a film critic involved grading rape scenes.

2. Yes, John Stewart thoroughly humiliated Jim Cramer and CNBC in general. So why doesn't someone go through John Stewart's archives and return the favor?

3. A close look at the corrupt and convoluted world of basketball recruiting.

4. Some very good tips on achieving success online. Especially this: "They show great passion for their niche. They never self promote. Rather, they earn trust by being part of a team or community first."

*Previously: South Park meets Star Wars.

*Buy Steamboat Willie collectibles at eBay.