Monday, May 24, 2010

Super Punch Interview: The Dark

(Super Punch interviews are posted every Monday. Please read the bottom of this post if you'd like to participate.)

Meet The Dark:

1. What is your idea of the perfect day?

A perfect day for me is dreary and foggy. I might start the day tending my deadly orchids and poisonous vines in the greenhouse. Then I might lead some poor orphans astray in a forest full of ravenous witches who live in houses made of candy. While I'm deep in the forest I might stop to admire something horrible slinking from tree to tree. Sometimes I like to dream big. Like for instance, something else that makes a great day is a lunar eclipse. I know they're very rare, but I love that few seconds of unnatural gloom when the moon fully blocks the sun. It's like having a dull pillow smother your heart for a moment. You know I always say that money can't buy a lunar eclipse.

2. Describe one of the best moments in your life:

Oh there are so many. I recently found out that Charles Addams was quite the ladies man and went to parties with Greta Garbo. Greta Garbo! Talk about living large. I'm more about the simple joys in life. Creeping around in basements and attics. Working on death ray generators in my laboratory. Learning how to sing like the Siamese cats in 101 Dalmatians.

3. What is your most common nightmare?

I find myself wandering around in a forest, naked. I notice that my body is glowing and there's something wrong with it. It's all doughy and swollen. I can only make horrible whimpering noises. Lost, I come to an abandoned mansion and start exploring it. As I walk around the mansion I trip on rugs, stumble on stairs and slam doors by mistake. Several times I accidentally hit my head with various objects. Near the end of the dream, I find myself in a large room filled with furniture. The furniture is upholstered with garish flowers. At one end of the room I encounter a huge mirror. To my horror, I look in the mirror and see that I am the ghost of Homer Simpson. I lose control of my senses and wake crying "D'oh!" over and over into my pillow. (shudder.)

4. What are your three favorite possessions?

1) I have a beautiful life-sized mummy made of sticks and cloth, which was created by my artist friend Bernice O. 2) My dead bug photo collection. 3) My stuffed cat, the Diabolical Dr. Francois, who also happens to be my best friend.

5. What is your goal for 2011?

To be invisible.

6. What super power would you most like to have?

To be invisible.

*Previously: Read more Super Punch interviews here.

*Buy insect specimens at Amazon.