Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Link roundup

1. I mentioned last month that I was really disappointed with Drew Magary's novel, and that he's usually very funny. Here's part of something he posted this week at Deadspin (ADULT language):

There was a cave cricket in my basement last night. They're horrible, nasty creatures that have +8 jumping ability. You have to act FAST in order to exterminate the little cocksuckers and protect your family, and so I quickly pinned him against the wall with a toy rocking chair and he was all mangled up against the wall.

Now, after a good kill, I like to go take a leak and let my victim sit there for a little while, just so the other cave crickets know THERE IS NO FUCKING AROUND HERE. So I go to take a leak, and when I return, the cricket is GONE. No! It cannot be! Inconceivable! I spin around, and there he is, hopping along the opposite wall and seemingly regenerated. ZOMBIE CAVE CRICKET. And I say to him, out loud, "I killed you!" I really did say that to him. Then I said, "I won't make the same mistake twice!" and then BOOM! I laid down the foot of doom, gathered him up in some TP, and down he went. I had failed to heed the lesson of Die Hard 2: Next time you have a chance to kill someone, DON'T HESITATE.
Funnier and more compelling than anything in The Postmortal.

2. "The Culturally Biased SAT: Hip-Hop Edition."

3. There's usually an explanation for superhuman athletic performance.

4. Fictional journalist writing real articles.

5. Laika's hiring.

6. The Black Friday sale has started at TFAW.

1 comment: