Tuesday, May 24, 2016

The weaknesses in the latest Marvel movies

From a long essay by Film Critic Hulk:

THE VILLAINS ARE JUST OBSTACLES TO THE ENTERTAINMENT. SO THEY TAKE A BACK SEAT AND BECOME BORING FUDDY DUDDIES THAT THE HEROES CAN EFFECTIVELY MAKE FACES AT.
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THE INSTINCT TO INTRODUCE THE INFINITY STONES IN EVERY MOVIE IS SUCH A WEIRD CONCEPT TO HULK. IT'S LIKE THEY WERE AFRAID TO INTRODUCE SOMETHING LIKE THE WEIRDNESS OF THE INFINITY GAUNTLET SO THEY JUST-HALF ASS A QUASI-INTRO EVERY MOVIE SO AUDIENCES GET USED TO IT / FEEL LIKE THEY'VE BEEN BUILDING TO SOMETHING. BUT BECAUSE THERE'S NO DISCERNIBLE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TESSERACT, THE AETHER, THE MINDSTONE, OR THE WHATEVER, IT JUST FEELS LIKE THE SAME EXACT FUCKING PLOT HAS BEEN DONE NINE TIMES NOW. THEY'RE ALL THE "VAGUELY POWERFUL OBJECT THAT CAN DESTROY THE WORLD." WHICH IS NOT ONLY BORING WHEN THERE'S NO MEANING BEHIND THE URGENCY, BUT IT WILL JUST MAKE THE ACTUAL INFINITY GAUNTLET FEEL LIKE MORE OF THE SAME.

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IT HAS BECOME THE STUDIO'S WEIRD QUEST TO REMOVE THE 'BAD SCENES" AKA THE SCENES AUDIENCES DON'T "LIKE" AND AS SUCH IT HAS INDOCTRINATED ONE OF THE WEIRDEST WORKING MODUS OPERANDIS HULK CAN THINK OF. THIS IS THE GENUINE PROCESS BTW: THEY PUT TOGETHER INOFFENSIVE CHARACTER-CENTRIC SCRIPTS WHERE NO ONE SEES THE HUGE STORY PROBLEMS ON THE PAGE (PEOPLE ARE BAD AT READING SCRIPTS ACROSS THE BOARD). THEY HIRE GREAT ACTORS. THEY PUT ACTION SCENES INTO SECOND UNIT HANDS. THEY SHOOT THE SUCKER THEN GET INTO THE EDIT. AND BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE BETTER WITH SEEING MOVIES THEN THEY ARE AT READING SCRIPTS, THEY THEN REALIZE THE STORY DOESN'T WORK. SO THEY RE-SHOOT HALF THE MOVIE (THIS IS ALL PLANNED BEFOREHAND) AND INCLUDE A LOT OF THE STUFF THEY THOUGHT THEY NEEDED IN THE FIRST PLACE TO MAKE IT WORK. THEY THEN TAILOR THE FINAL PRODUCT TO BE AS ROUND AND SAFE AS POSSIBLE. THE MOVIE IS THEN GREETED WITH EITHER WITH A SHRUG OR A HEARTY LAUGH AND A SLOW SLIDE INTO FORGETTING.