Ten funny tweets

[Home Depot staff meeting]

BOSS: Someone has been breaking all the wood. Any idea who it is?

ME: [tightening my green karate belt] Probably someone pretty strong.

— Consider John Frazzled (@FrazzleMyGimp) August 14, 2018

This is going up in the lab pic.twitter.com/lkgfq631cl

— Paul J. Dauenhauer (@pauldauenhauer) August 12, 2018

ah yes my kind of weddings pic.twitter.com/UOxXtN3DLG

— 𖤐 (@borealfiends) August 11, 2018

Kitty-prints in medieval floor tiles. Wormleighton St Mary pic.twitter.com/JA1BYd2pQ0

— marion burgon (@marionburgon) August 12, 2018

@chick_in_kiev I NEVER say this on the Internet, but... you should also read the comments. Really. https://t.co/Cf81hldrY1

— A Sweet Slug (@DAL9001) August 16, 2018

Good morning, folks. I feel like nobody is talking about the real hero from last night's #DCU/#RCTID match. pic.twitter.com/47lo0UF8u7

— Pablo Maurer (@MLSist) August 16, 2018

I can relate to blenders because I also scream while I'm doing my job.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 15, 2018

i’m fucking DEAD rn y’all have no idea pic.twitter.com/ELO5u5SyEF

— kate (@dunfIower) August 15, 2018

Aim to have the courage of the Bishop of Orlando telling Pope Paul VI that the Moon was part of his diocese pic.twitter.com/9Bx8pFbbq0

— Ned Donovan (@Ned_Donovan) August 12, 2018

a fun game you can play by yourself or with a friend is Does He Have A Goatee Now? the way it works is you think of a guy from your high school and you ask yourself "does he have a goatee now?" and then you look him up on facebook and see if you're right.

— bobby (@bobby) August 17, 2018