don't get a black rug if you have a black cat. pic.twitter.com/iX2gGZpOv9β Kevin π³οΈββ§οΈ π³οΈβπ (@MapsCats) September 23, 2019
So Iβm at Chiliβs and just got hit in the back of the head with a straw wrapper. I turned around and immediately a 65+ year old lady started apologizing saying she was aiming for her husband. Then they both started giggling.β ry (@ryleeemlock) September 22, 2019
If thatβs not me when Iβm older idk.
hahahahaha π pic.twitter.com/46V9wSTRMAβ Barry Malone (@malonebarry) September 24, 2019
β Matt Bors (@MattBors) September 23, 2019
Merry and Pippen after being captured by the Uruk-hai and taken towards Isengard: https://t.co/o9ibQYXuGJβ Joshua Lana Del Ray (@joshuaray) September 24, 2019
does it ever fuck you up thinking about how old versions of you still exist to people out there. people you haven't talked to in years remember who you used to be and nothing about who you are now, and they're out there with memories of a version of you that kinda sucksβ cham @ fe3h GD #2 run (@CHIMCHAMS95) September 13, 2019
THERAPIST: do you want to talk aboutβ taylor swift boat veteran for truth (@AliceAvizandum) August 29, 2017
ME: no no nO doc that's a load bearing neurosis, you move it and this whole thing comes down around us
I often think about the time a woman in my office said good morning, and I said good morning back, and then later I saw a twitter thread from her that was like βMy mission today was to be kind to a coworker who always seems like heβs in a bad mood. The way his face lit upβββ JuanPa (@jpbrammer) September 23, 2019
i am addicted to this metal box i compulsively stroke and prod to find more information on my enemiesβ ππππππ ππππππ (@333333333433333) September 25, 2019
Baby elephants are known to throw temper tantrums when frustrated or tired. pic.twitter.com/cGaPG0t9scβ UberFacts (@UberFacts) June 7, 2019
*More funny tweets.