Super Punch: Today's news and jokes

A beautiful, inspiring message from the airport parking machine pic.twitter.com/3kbYnSF6yE
— James Colley (@JamColley) January 31, 2024

Husbands you can't leave, pregnancies you can't prevent or terminate, politicians you can't vote out of office — the GOP agenda for American women. pic.twitter.com/wsjYtu2N1d
— Dan Savage (@fakedansavage) June 25, 2024

Can't leave your terrible husband. Forced to carry to term. Bet you they will try and limit/segregate education and job opportunities in the next decade. A party of regression https://t.co/GCdAa24ab1
— Brandon Bradford (@BrandonLBradfor) June 26, 2024

it is crazy to me that the world's most committed garrison state has had, until Tuesday, a huge population which relied entirely on welfare, didn't serve in the military, and took an insanely belligerent position on the use of the military they didn't serve in
— golden gate theophite (@revhowardarson) June 26, 2024

("In a landmark ruling that threatens to unravel Israel's government, the country's Supreme Court has ordered the military to begin drafting ultra-Orthodox men, who've long been exempt from service")

lol it looks like the big ip farms finally ran the numbers on if genai would make them money or lose them money https://t.co/WCFQcJrd2z
— Corey Brickley Illustration. Justice for Palestine (@CoreyBrickley) June 26, 2024

The Japan Burger Championship starts at Saitama Super Arena tomorrow. The website has a welcoming image. https://t.co/tKoKIbBoV1 pic.twitter.com/RMlmJgS7tL
— Mulboyne (@Mulboyne) June 26, 2024

Reese’s pieces where yall at?????
— Angel Reese (@Reese10Angel) June 26, 2024

The Final Boss awaits. https://t.co/wAIVLiBlmX pic.twitter.com/sIT6d9PxVo
— Rob Perez (@WorldWideWob) June 26, 2024

The NBA meta is accumulating assets so you can try and win a title in the eight weeks you have with Kevin Durant before he gets traded
— Bill Barnwell (@billbarnwell) June 26, 2024

Ah. Shabazz Muhammad. The recruiting meeting I went to where his fam’s pit bulls had me internally terrified. They were like the King’s Guard for his mom. They didn’t want any strangers even looking in her direction 🤣 https://t.co/A9j0Mjm8YS
— Nate Jones (@JonesOnTheNBA) June 24, 2024

Who were the last nfl players who actually seemed to hate each other? Evans and Lattimore?
— Mina Kimes (@minakimes) June 24, 2024

(Lots of replies)

Was on a trip to Turkey and our hotel was advertising $20 cave diving lessons, perhaps the most terrifying sentence in the English language.
— Michael Peeler ⚓🐟 (@MPeelerNC) June 6, 2024