Today's funny tweets

"I like the way this graphic makes it look like sengoku jidai rival daimyos trying to topple Koike" https://t.co/dH7upoYIaT

— Mulboyne (@Mulboyne) March 27, 2020

Find someone who looks at you the way the market looks at a 3.3M jobless claims report.

— Zack Kanter (@zackkanter) March 26, 2020

Chris Jericho cuts a promo on a drone, then recruits it to join the Inner Circle pic.twitter.com/PFhlw6aMdI

— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) March 26, 2020

It's a cursed spoon with an ancient curse. One of yours pals left it there to rid themselves of the curse!

— Scott McLaughlin (@legionofthebold) March 26, 2020

One thing I’ve learned so far in quarantine is that my husband refuses to microwave anything for 45 seconds, he always does 44. When I asked him why, he said, “For Obama.”

— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) March 26, 2020

There was a hair on the wall of my shower so I turned it into an abstract portrait of myself. Doing fine! pic.twitter.com/I15oGRm5iZ

— Julie Greiner (@JulieAbridged) March 25, 2020

[towards Bethlehem]
Beast’s mom: Don’t slouch.

— Philosopher to the stars (@signalborder) March 25, 2020

A Witch Window. Placed in the gable-end wall of a house & rotated 45 degrees. Found mainly in Vermont's 19th century farmhouses, witches cannot fly their broomsticks through tilted windows. #FolkloreThursday @FolkloreThurs pic.twitter.com/WPHihE41Fm

— Mysterious Mail (@MailMysterious) March 26, 2020

Our puppies just had the best. day. ever.

They got to explore the @GeorgiaAquarium while it is closed to the public. They made all sorts of exciting discoveries and lots of new friends! pic.twitter.com/f0iHXfq3AF

— Atlanta Humane (@atlantahumane) March 26, 2020

just snuggling a potato. casual. pic.twitter.com/5oucLyEzCq

— shut up, meg. (@meghanbits) March 26, 2020

*More funny posts.

"what’s clear now is that Bush’s strategy and Obama’s strategy [in Afghanistan] were mirror opposites but neither of them worked"

From an interview with the author of the recent Washington Post articles about the war in Afghanistan:

Do you have a sense of why people throughout government, in the military, in the bureaucracy, in the various Administrations, who coöperated with this project and spoke honestly about some of the problems in Afghanistan, and some of the deception of their colleagues, did not speak publicly about these things?

That’s a really good question, and I think there are different answers. I am guessing a little bit on some of it, but for people who are not senior, they were worried they will be shot down, that their careers will be frozen or they will lose their jobs. Why wouldn’t General Lute or General Flynn speak up? That’s a good question. I think, though, that the irony of these documents is that most of the people spoke honestly and forthrightly and extremely candidly, because they thought their names would never become public. It is like that old joke in Washington that people tell the truth as long as their name isn’t associated with it. People opened up because they thought it wouldn’t come back to haunt them. And yet our argument was that these are public records, and we have been able to strip back that layer of secrecy somewhat.

...

Over the past ten years, I have been covering national security full time in Washington. The way we found out about these documents was the old-fashioned way. We got a tip back in August of 2016 that Michael Flynn had given this unpublished interview about the Afghan war. We heard he said some really interesting things. You have to remember that it was not long after the Republican National Convention, when he became notorious for yelling “Lock her up!” He was a big supporter of Trump. But he was known as a general who spoke his mind, and so we were curious what this guy said about the war in Afghanistan.

Zion blew out his shoe right at the start of tonight's big game

Zion blows right *through* his shoe pic.twitter.com/uuiUayOSNL

— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) February 21, 2019

Zion takes such powerful steps he just exploded his own sneaker pic.twitter.com/U2ZrgQlJFa

— Barstool Sports (@barstooltweetss) February 21, 2019

President Captain Obvious pic.twitter.com/BMbJG6zMkb

— Barstool Sports (@barstooltweetss) February 21, 2019

Carlos Boozer tagging a national park is the only good Zion tweet https://t.co/VIKJCEg6Bn

— Matt Ellentuck (@mellentuck) February 21, 2019

If you missed the hype:

Freshman forward Zion Williamson and Duke will host rival North Carolina on Wednesday night — and last-minute tickets for the game are quickly approaching Super Bowl-level prices.

Nike Fires 8-Year-Old Shoemaker Responsible For Zion Williamson Injury https://t.co/aPLeHP7A6w pic.twitter.com/yj3sVApz7E

— The Onion (@TheOnion) February 21, 2019

Obama "continues to be an influential voice in a party torn between celebrating and vilifying corporate power"

BB:

Last month, just before her book “What Happened” was published, Barack Obama spoke in New York to clients of Northern Trust Corp. for about $400,000, a person familiar with his appearance said. Last week, he reminisced about the White House for Carlyle Group LP, one of the world’s biggest private equity firms, according to two people who were there. Next week, he’ll give a keynote speech at investment bank Cantor Fitzgerald LP’s health-care conference.

...

“Not everyone’s going to be a Jimmy Carter, who does purely good works after he gets out,”

"President Obama and his family escaped a room at Breakout Waikiki during their winter vacation to Hawaii"

RE:

We recently interviewed MacGregor Greenlee, General Manager of Hawaiian Operations at Breakout Waikiki about his experience hosting the Obamas.

...

It wasn’t clear which room President Obama was going to do because they had a party of about 30 people who split into four different rooms. His daughters chose our Mission Manoa room which is based on a room at our original location (Breakout Kansas City) and features a hand cuffing component. As you can imagine, the Secret Service was not going to allow anyone in the room to be handcuffed, especially the President!

Link roundup

1. "Game of Thrones Comes to Life With #ArttheThrone"

five diverse artists will reinterpret scenes from the series, debuting their pieces on April 20 at a private exhibition in New York City . . . in the meantime, get to know the artists and their work below

2. These Clash Royale videos are great to explain strategy.

3.  Obama vs. Steph Curry in Connect Four.

Link roundup

1. "Concerned Citizens Turn Out to Be Political Theater"

Some of those scripted lines, he says were provided by recent UCLA graduate Adam Swart, CEO of a company called Crowds on Demand, which will stage rallies and demonstrations for any almost candidate or cause.

Swart says he has employed actors to sway city officials in meetings across the country.

2. "A Moscow advert declaring that “smoking kills more people than Obama” has gone viral, becoming the latest in a string of actions condemning the US president as a mass killer."

3. The time Lance Stephenson smashed his car trying to sneak past the security gate at the Clippers' practice facility.

A whole bunch of weird photos were just added to the White House Flickr account

For example.

"So then what happened last night?"

The Awl:

Now American politics has an entrenched coalition of religious or religious-seeming largely white people, with a small pocket of well-off funders and bundlers who actually benefit from Republican financial ideas, as oppose to the poor whites who imagine they will benefit from those ideas—and there's mostly the rest of us.

Shepard Fairey’s "Hope" Obama action figure

Available soon from Jailbreak Toys.