Problem: community is in lockdown mode & you forgot your keys when going outside for covid test. No way to let a locksmith come into the compound...
— Manya Koetse (@manyapan) September 11, 2022
Solution: neighbor has an external lift that you can borrow to break into your own home. So convenient (but probably not very safe) pic.twitter.com/WGa5r8OfJz
King Charles’s staff given redundancy notice during church service for Queen
— Charlie Stross (@cstross) September 13, 2022
LMAO ROFL monarchy sucks (see, it only took six days of this royal funeral shitfest to drive me from stiff upper lip to foaming actual rage) https://t.co/ZUvuHuJZVy
"Food bank closing for Queen’s funeral responds to backlash"(Breaks the fourth wall, addresses the twitterati):
— Charlie Stross (@cstross) September 13, 2022
The thing is, it's nearly impossible for satire to keep up with real life in Brexitania.
A week ago who would have predicted food banks for the starving being shuttered "out of respect" during a dead billionaire's funeral?
https://t.co/Ma9e2if3uk pic.twitter.com/dV4MnmVTDN
— Kane 謝凱堯 (@kane) September 13, 2022
Brett Favre: Will the media find out that we're using welfare funds intended to help the poorest residents of America's poorest state to build a volleyball center?
— Adam Ganucheau (@GanucheauAdam) September 13, 2022
Nancy New: Nah. Oh yeah, the governor is fully on board!@ayewolfe five years later: https://t.co/rWXHRXISsu pic.twitter.com/wo3QuIYXaY
Oh.. NOWWWWW he gets in trouble for inappropriate texts. https://t.co/OTEfl1V2p8 pic.twitter.com/p1U47rzWFg
— Jennifer Sterger (@jennifersterger) September 13, 2022
Plymouth Rock is arguably a better monument to this country than it would have been if it were real. https://t.co/SLSihp4yxj https://t.co/vezLlT29O3 pic.twitter.com/6p4fqtlRNv
— Osita Nwanevu (@OsitaNwanevu) September 12, 2022
A food delivery robot forces it’s way across a police crime scene. pic.twitter.com/T5DaET5Q5b
— Film The Police LA (@FilmThePoliceLA) September 13, 2022
Trash yourself. pic.twitter.com/ffmcWyXVAy
— James Griffiths 🏴🇭🇰 (@jgriffiths) September 3, 2022
don't you understand? the human race IS an endless number of monkeys. and every day we produce an endless number of words. and one of us already wrote hamlet.
— Llama in a Tux (@LlamaInaTux) September 10, 2022
one thing i appreciate about ikea is how they will not sell furniture to anyone who cannot escape a labyrinth
— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) September 3, 2022
My husband made the biggest mistake of his life last night: attempting to unload the pieces of a bed from the car before the 2yo was asleep. We spent the next 30 mins supervising while the toddler carried each piece up the stairs at a glacial pace saying “LOOK! I’m a worker man”
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) September 1, 2022
Some people are fit, healthy pregnant ladies and I wish I could be one too, but alas, I am a Victorian Consumption patient pregnant lady. We exist. There are so many of us.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) September 2, 2022
*More funny posts.