Today's news and jokes

when your car battery dies on the capitol plaza, instead of calling aaa you just need @AOC. pic.twitter.com/VcQpTXWboz

— mike casca (@cascamike) September 11, 2024

(She retweeted it)

Is it too late for memes? pic.twitter.com/JHw4s15YUa

— Rob Yeo (@robjyeo) September 11, 2024

need people to argue about if this is flirting https://t.co/7GHSFyywPO

— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) September 11, 2024

Big Tech in 2022: "we bought enough voodoo certificates to claim our data centers run on renewable energy, consumers can't tell the difference lol"

Big Tech in 2024: "we need to literally put nuclear reactors in our data centers" https://t.co/jvTMo6jZbM

— Mark Nelson (@energybants) September 11, 2024

(A write-up.)

That people's answers to this are actually decently revealing about their political coding in thinking they are not. https://t.co/otRmE48Hrn

— SwiftOnSecurity (@SwiftOnSecurity) September 10, 2024

I think a great value add for verified blue check accounts would be if they had exclusive access to a feature where they get a notification every time they got blocked and for what tweet

— Christina Holland 🐀 (@americanwombat) September 11, 2024

Long before current management I wondered if advertisers could tell if an ad view simply led to their account getting muted

lmao Tyla pic.twitter.com/IIBCE3Gy4H

— CJ Fogler account may or may not be notable (@cjzero) September 12, 2024

Pretty sure Smile 2 is coming out soon

— Theon Durden (@prt4usc) September 12, 2024

(Ray Nicholson on the poster)

𝐁𝐀𝐌! 💥

THERE IT IS. @_ajawilson22 has the single greatest scoring season in @WNBA history! 👏#ALLINLV pic.twitter.com/32SNhwmcL6

— Las Vegas Aces (@LVAces) September 11, 2024

Bam...

I love how this is how Americans are discovering Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen https://t.co/QWwBHIX8F0

— Bantership Potemkin (@Bonesdrawstuff) September 11, 2024

i like that for the image choice they went with a photo where they made him look like the divorce lawyer https://t.co/PR1ab7g27P

— Max Tani (@maxwelltani) September 11, 2024

Bebop and Rocksteady before the mutation pic.twitter.com/hERu7H6Aom

— Brandon Streussnig (@BrndnStrssng) September 11, 2024

Twitter is healthy because its reading

— rebecca (@babyybeckz) August 7, 2024

My most boomer hill to die on is that I refuse to use terms like 'Aeldari' and 'Astra Militarum'. I don't play 'Heretic Astartes', I play Chaos Space Marines. Unalived ass speech.

— darksynthia goth rock (@DiscoEleutherio) August 10, 2024

@jdpt_kids

Bad day indeed

♬ Big Dawgs - Hanumankind & Kalmi

@kateu11 #runningbentover #skeletonathlete #olympictiktok #5timeolympian #katieuhlaender @Nike ♬ cmonn by 5star - Jaylah☆

@theredflagspod You’re in a palace, mate #oscarpiastri #op81 #f1tiktok #f1 ♬ original sound - The Red Flags Podcast

@joemammalit #greenscreenvideo Los Angeles 2028?!?! #parisbound ♬ Star Spangled (Bass Boosted) - SNC

*More funny posts.