Leo/Virgo cusp here, the combo is definitely Chaos Virgo.— olivia conti (@olliegrace) September 1, 2019
The old woman I’m cat sitting for has her mugshot framed. What a boss bitch. pic.twitter.com/sja6sF6XpJ— Neanderthot (@smashyouburn) August 31, 2019
Feels like I need to share this exceedingly fierce headstone I saw at Hollywood Forever yesterday pic.twitter.com/70d3PFVc1i— Anna Merlan (@annamerlan) September 1, 2019
Just had the pleasure of passing the big field in Fort Greene Park in a cab and watching fifty parents bloom their umbrellas simultaneously over their children as it started to rain— Jia Tolentino (@jiatolentino) September 2, 2019
Upset that my friend waited until today to tell me the story of seeing Elton John and Billy Joel in concert, how the piano didn't work, and Billy Joel took off his sportsjacket to get under the piano to fix it, like a car— The provost-man is always CC'd twice (@rajandelman) September 1, 2019
the trainer told me I needed to assert dominance over my dog so that he would respect and obey me so I had no choice... pic.twitter.com/NA1QbHsKjz— jordan (@jcraigopro) August 31, 2019
waiter: would you like a soup or salad?— online moose 🦌 (@tiemoose) September 1, 2019
clark kent: [laughs nervously] a super salad? i'll just have a regular salad please
waiter: alri-
clark kent: [loudly] a regular salad for a regular man
Please. Demogorgons are such a Department of Energy thing.— DARPA (@DARPA) August 28, 2019
as i get older my desire for superpowers shifts away from “i wish i could fly” and more towards “i wish i could concentrate when i am hungry”— joshua schachter (@joshu) September 1, 2019
Why every parent should own a nanny cam pic.twitter.com/c26PA90kfg— Aussies Doing Things (@aussiesdointhgs) August 30, 2019
*More funny posts.