Ten funny tweets

Groom: Dude, the invitation was for Gandalf the Grey.

Gandalf: Oh, it's Gandalf the White now.

Bride: [fuming]

Gandalf: [looks fabulous]

— Ally (@TragicAllyHere) August 17, 2016

Rereading Lord of the Rings 10 years later, only to realize that the Ring is my smartphone. pic.twitter.com/w2hkX6M6cR

— the artistic side of Somesanity (@flysanityfly) September 22, 2018

apparently 'rap snacks' are a thing that exists that i never knew i needed until right now. pic.twitter.com/1xNYl4LsDj

— Anthony Petrie NYCC #874 (@zombiebacons) September 24, 2018

I feel like someone at Amazon Studios has a type pic.twitter.com/LbRxQIe39G

— 🎵 TT / do you love me / are you writing (@tonytula) September 23, 2018

There are no bugs, only features we don't know how to market yet.

— Pinboard (@Pinboard) September 24, 2018

We’re at a Halloween store that used to be at a babies r us and it’s so surreal pic.twitter.com/H7DLb7qqqO

— tiny baby man ramuda @ 6 days (@StyleShinjuku) September 22, 2018

My girl was late picking me up n this is why🙄 pic.twitter.com/S8CAoCFNiL

— tajh eason (@TajhEason) September 20, 2018

Great deal pic.twitter.com/sRBKWkEkMb

— Brendan O'Hare (@brendohare) September 16, 2018

Hey @AlbertBrooks if we give our baby an Albert Brooks movie themed first birthday party will you come? We live in LA.

— Ursula Lawrence (@UrsulaLawrence) September 23, 2018

My son has parked his bike by this lamppost just about every day for the last year. This morning, this sticker had appeared. Absolutely made our day. People can be so brilliant. Thank you, whoever did it 😊 pic.twitter.com/rYC8jCTD5L

— Christie Dietz (@asausagehastwo) September 24, 2018

New clearance sale at the BBTS: Imported toys

Including several exotic Iron Man figures for 40-60% off.

Art roundup

Off the subject but here is the 72 batmobile project. pic.twitter.com/ZYyRMubXe6

— Jody Dotson (@dotsonjody) September 23, 2018

pic.twitter.com/91LqjzbXvo

— Jody Dotson (@dotsonjody) September 23, 2018

@PhilSzostak Thank you so much - the Art of Solo was so amazing I had to create this outfit pic.twitter.com/YlJeGrBEbb

— Isadora (@Isadora_da) September 12, 2018

View this post on Instagram

Concept art for Dryden’s ship in SOLO” out tomorrow! Best art department ever ! #starwars #soloastarwarsstory #spaceship #scifi #conceptart #illustration #art #design #fantasy #procreate #procreateapp #photoshop

A post shared by vincent jenkins (@vincentjenkinsjnr) on Sep 23, 2018 at 12:10pm PDT

View this post on Instagram

Here’s an establisher I did for the arrival at Kessel. I loved the bold art direction of yellow triangles. Like a giant caution sign.. :) #starwars #soloastarwarsstory #conceptart #digitalart #kessel #millenniumfalcon

A post shared by Jon McCoy (@jonmccoyart) on Sep 24, 2018 at 8:44am PDT

This shirt was at the Nike store yesterday #Tiger pic.twitter.com/gQvyZFmeZw

— CJ Fogler (@cjzer0) September 23, 2018

View this post on Instagram

Which one would you like to try? From 1 to 6! Working on new cakes collection for Jonquils Cafe in Boston, Newbury street. Opening soon! . Какое хотели бы попробовать? Работаю над авторской коллекцией пирожных для нового кафе в Бостоне. Скоро открытие! . @dinarakasko #dinarakasko

A post shared by Dinara Kasko (@dinarakasko) on Sep 24, 2018 at 10:43am PDT

Cucamelons

View this post on Instagram

This cute fruit is the size of a grape, they look like mini-watermelon and taste like cucumbers and lime. The sour fruit grows on a thin vine and is surrounded by ivy-like leaves. While they're a bit bizarre looking, cucamelons aren't some strange genetically-modified hybrid, but a delicacy from Central America that's been eaten since pre-Columbian times and are a staple in Mexican diets." - Natural Living Ideas 🥒 🍉 _ Photo by @deannacat3 I modernfarmer.com

A post shared by Modern Farmer (@modfarm) on Sep 24, 2018 at 8:00am PDT

"The epic rise and fall of the name Heather"

QZ:

A Quartz analysis of US baby-name data that goes back to 1880 finds that no name in history has become so popular and then flamed out quite like Heather.

At its peak in 1975, more than 24,000 girls were named Heather, making it the US’s third most popular girls name, after Jennifer and Amy. In 2017, it was the 1,129th most popular name, given to only 219 girls born that year.

Related:

risky tactic but could pay off in a big way pic.twitter.com/UsK3NBNVc8

— j.r. hennessy (@jrhennessy) September 22, 2018

Video game roundup

FF15 초코보 MOD pic.twitter.com/fmPao62BBp

— IN (@17toma__) September 15, 2018

Final Fantasy XV x Terra Wars & Shadow of the Tomb Raider collaboration pic.twitter.com/qhHS1ezZpR

— Wario64 (@Wario64) September 23, 2018

This is pretty common knowledge in my circle, but in case you all don't know it: mobile app features by Apple and Google drive a fraction of the traffic that they used to. Even Grade-A features like the ones Alphabear2 received.

— David Edery (@djedery) September 22, 2018

If you love mobile indie games, please spread the word: devs DO NOT GET PAID just because you watch ads in our games. Clicking the ads doesn't matter either. We literally only get paid if you *install the app* that the ad is promoting.

— David Edery (@djedery) September 24, 2018

ﾍﾞｯﾁｭｰ pic.twitter.com/Ja3zo4004C

— 桑折 ≫ ｽﾌﾟｹ 12ツ17 (@htn_nm) September 21, 2018

📶 pic.twitter.com/gwR3JdSkTd

— 桑折 ≫ ｽﾌﾟｹ 12ツ17 (@htn_nm) September 9, 2018

GAME: choose your language

ME: English

GAME: are you sure? Language cannot be switched mid-game

ME [literally only speaks English but is terrified of commitment]: ...gimme a minute

— Kyle 🌿 (@KylePlantEmoji) September 23, 2018

"Weight Watchers is now WW"

"The name WW reflects that we’re becoming the world’s partner in wellness. We will always be the global leader in weight loss, but"

Football highlights

😂😂😂 #Pac12AfterDark #Washington pic.twitter.com/XPchJsxwM8

— Jim Barrero (@jimbarrero) September 23, 2018

Best punch ever! Disrupt and stun the Defender so he can’t dictate the play! Pass pro isn’t passive 🤛🏼🤛🏼 pic.twitter.com/7umeVzXcBL

— Offensive Line Is Life (@_OffensiveLine) September 23, 2018

The running high five on the way to the end zone is a power move pic.twitter.com/2xDOYJieXH

— CJ Fogler (@cjzer0) September 23, 2018

Drew Brees spin move dot TD pic.twitter.com/kiKlvTM2rg

— Vikings Blogger (@firstandskol) September 23, 2018

"Hacked Prius Running on MUNI Power Lines"

TBI from 2014:

A couple months ago I was walking out of Golden Gate Park onto Fulton around 8th Avenue. I stepped onto the sidewalk just in time to see a Prius roll by with a pair of giant antennae mounted on the roof. At first I thought it was just some kind of art-car getup, but then I realized the antennae was the same power pole doodad that MUNI buses use (I later learned they’re called “trolley poles”). Not only that, they were actually running along the overhead power cables for the 5 line.

...


"Once I come off the power lines I only have about two minutes of go time before the batteries quit. "

...

The car I saw wasn’t even his first Prius. The first one was a 2003 model that apparently wasn’t built as robustly as the later ones.

“She just couldn’t handle the juice, man. I was driving up Van Ness one day and the roof unit started buzzing real loud. The whole engine compartment caught on fire and all the plastic under the hood started to melt.

"Uber drivers and other gig economy workers are earning half what they did five years ago"

Recode:

On average, drivers who transport people (Uber or Lyft) or things (Uber Eats or Postmates) through an app made 53 percent less in 2017 than they did in 2013, according to a new study by the JPMorgan Chase Institute that looks at online gig economy payments into Chase checking accounts.

...

A spokesperson for Uber, which is the most prominent transportation platform included in the study, chalks it up to growth in drivers who choose to drive part-time.

...

The average monthly payments to those who worked for a transportation app in a given month declined to $783 from $1,469. Meanwhile, people working for leasing apps — Airbnb, Turo, Parklee and other apps that let you rent assets like your home, car or parking space — saw their incomes from those platforms rise 69 percent to $1,736 on average.

"Introducing Gerrymander Jewelry, shaped like the worst Gerrymandered Congressional districts in America"

Gerrymander:

A diamond is forever, but a district is for a decade.

...

If you want your own district, you can custom order it on our Contact page

.@AmandaSeyfried wearing our new gerrymander jewels! Get your own RN at https://t.co/TTiSmnsaVR! #OMGWTFVOTE pic.twitter.com/Zaq0fA8HfI

— OMG WTF (@omgwtfvote) September 21, 2018

"Washington lawyer, a former White House counsel, under scrutiny by prosecutors in offshoot of Mueller probe"

WaPo:

Still, the investigation of Craig — a White House counsel for President Barack Obama — along with lobbyists Vin Weber and Tony Podesta, has shaken Washington’s lobbying and legal community, which until recently had faced little scrutiny of its representation of foreign clients.