Today's news and jokes

Ollie Bearman spent his F1 break trying to beat a track record at a go-kart track.

The guy he took it from just took it back, Elton Zevenwacht. 👏 #F1 pic.twitter.com/Xa5WHAHKjT

— Motorsport.com (@Motorsport) July 25, 2025

Today's news and jokes

Tonight's contest will be delayed until 8 p.m. and will be seven innings due to incident that happened pregame.

Gallons of water were sprayed over the fence from the fire department after a ball hit a pickup truck parked by the station. That water has created a pond in center.

— Silver Spring-Takoma Thunderbolts (@TBolts_Baseball) July 17, 2025

Tonight's game is cancelled. We will be back in action tomorrow for a doubleheader against the Olney Cropdusters.

— Silver Spring-Takoma Thunderbolts (@TBolts_Baseball) July 17, 2025

@cbssports

You don't see this very often...

♬ original sound - CBS Sports

Today's news and jokes

i see some people reacting to this negatively and i would just like to say that this was actually a very fun and insightful experience and i would pay extra to have this happen to me again

— “paula” (@paularambles) May 28, 2025

From my wishlist, Eleanor Catton's novel Birnam Wood is $2.99 right now

at Amazon:

A Best Book of the Year: The New York Times Book Review, NPR, The New Yorker, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, Time, Financial Times, Slate, The Chicago Public Library, Kirkus, The Telegraph

Here's a positive review (and overview of the author's first two novels) by the Guardian, and here's the first paragraph from the NY Times's review (it uses a lot of words and phrases I don't understand): 

Eleanor Catton’s third novel, “Birnam Wood,” is a big book, a sophisticated page-turner, that does something improbable: It filters anarchist, monkey-wrenching environmental politics, a generational (anti-baby boomer) cri de coeur and a downhill-racing plot through a Stoppardian sense of humor. The result is thrilling. “Birnam Wood” nearly made me laugh with pleasure. The whole thing crackles, like hair drawn through a pocket comb. 

Today's news and jokes

nba needs a jeans night https://t.co/RwbiFn5sfq

— ja (@sjl40279r32y) May 27, 2024

Today's news and jokes

This is the kindest way anyone has asked for more violence. https://t.co/u2uEpsaqyk

— The Pettiest Laker Fan 🤫 (@ThePettiestLA) May 9, 2024

“Drake dissed Serena so I have to go with Kendrick” - Coco Gauff 🔥 #IBI24 pic.twitter.com/mC4Bf3QSgb

— TENNIS (@Tennis) May 9, 2024

Today's news and jokes

ANT on the crotch chop: "I was trying to get Rudy to do it with me"
Rudy: "I might be concussed"
😂 pic.twitter.com/jOHJvEbxHi

— CJ Fogler account may or may not be notable (@cjzero) April 27, 2024

I wish they'd release footage of his predraft team interviews. Teams must have been so confused about what he was about

Today's news and jokes

CAR TOO HOT! why are you shouting at him he’s just a little guy pic.twitter.com/qT66p55WuP

— jas ⁸¹ (@piastrisjpg) March 2, 2024

CAR TOO HOT pic.twitter.com/ivIfn8Oq4s

— CJ Fogler account may or may not be notable (@cjzero) March 2, 2024

(Modern F1 is like a perfect fusion of Star Trek The Next Generation and Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.)

Today's news and jokes

you cannot convince me this isn't the funniest fucking humans vs robots video to come out in our time https://t.co/IwVTSvvmV9 pic.twitter.com/JtPtQP70Vd

— Wade (in Tarnation) (@watn_tarnation) February 23, 2024

Part 2 where they discuss Terminator 2 pic.twitter.com/HZrYVMt9HT

— Wade (in Tarnation) (@watn_tarnation) February 23, 2024

Good title for a short story: "Why don't we just kill the kid in the Omelas hole"

A short sequel to Ursula K. Le Guin's "The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas."

"Philippines says it is ready to use force to quell secession attempts as Duterte row deepens"

Guardian:

Violence and conflict had plagued Mindanao for decades as the government battled insurgents and extremists, which has discouraged investments and left many villages in poverty.

The region’s largest rebel group, the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF), had signed a peace agreement with the Philippine government in 2014, withdrawing their fight for independence in exchange for enhanced autonomy in a Muslim region called the Bangsamoro

Today's news and jokes

In between Army-Navy and the Heisman presentation, there’s a dog diving championship on ESPNEWS.

The color announcer just called a dog “deceptively athletic.” pic.twitter.com/JTz464zx7w

— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) December 10, 2023

Who will be Las Vegas's "Goy 2023"?

M Resort is hosting a “Gambler of the Year” event, providing further evidence casinos should run everything by us first. Related: L'Chaim! pic.twitter.com/yZv2KUibwZ

— Vital Vegas (@VitalVegas) October 27, 2023

Today's news and jokes

My son and my little sister (she's 8) ripped open a bean bag chair to see what's inside. It made a huge mess. She wrote us this note and showed it to us before the big reveal pic.twitter.com/pS8dNbv7NY

— king lazy bones (@tenderlilguy) September 25, 2023

A good poem

david berman in a 1993 issue of the baffler pic.twitter.com/g8Mi3rZBft

— leonor (@leonorgrave) October 2, 2023

issue # 5 !

— leonor (@leonorgrave) October 3, 2023

The entire issue (and all the issues) are online.

Today's news and jokes

An incredible sign at the Shanghai History Museum #twitterstorians pic.twitter.com/4M3rIqx6i1

— Dr. Peter E. Hamilton (韩墨松) (@peharch) September 22, 2023

Today's news and jokes

Innovative ‘kiss me’ #JapaneseGP trophies 🏆 💋

Will come alive when picked up in the right spot thanks to touch sensitive technology 👀 pic.twitter.com/wFJA9ZhZTn

— Motorsport.com (@Motorsport) September 23, 2023

#JapaneseGP ‘kiss me’ trophies 🏆💋

📸 @auscarpiastri pic.twitter.com/mbGGokFn31

— Motorsport.com (@Motorsport) September 23, 2023

"The trophy has a special ‘kiss me’ area located on the outside, with indicator lights which will flash when it is picked up to guide drivers to the right spot."

Today's news and jokes

i know their PR team told them to sit in front of an innocuous normal-person looking wall, but unfortunately for them i have also watched their architectural digest house tour and know exactly where this was filmed pic.twitter.com/KPkEMOltWI

— matt (@mattxiv) September 10, 2023

People seeking government services in Quebec must now prove they have the right to be spoken to in English

quebec passed a new language law so govt websites now ask that you meet certain criteria to use the english version pic.twitter.com/yusLZGRZqC

— triste 🛷 (@tamphopho) June 3, 2023

CBC:

The abrupt application of new provisions in Quebec's Bill 96, which forces provincial and municipal bodies to limit English services, has been a rocky transition, but the minister responsible for French says an adjustment period will be necessary.

...

These provisions mean that, since Thursday in Montreal, citizens who call 311, the city's information hotline, are directed to a voice message explaining the city's new communication obligations — and listing those who are entitled to English services.

*Previously: Automatic translator produces delightful turn of phrase 

Today's funny posts

imagine having to come up with some bullshit "it's for utilities access in an emergency" veil out when a journalist is on the verge of breaking the story of how pixies, gnomes, and sprites secretly control the US government. https://t.co/d76dwgL6f4

— Cicada Meth Orgy Fungus (@RogueWPA) January 9, 2023