Today's news and jokes

apparently this illustration may be an outdated version of plectronoceras so here's a more likely better reconstruction!

still very beautiful, very powerfulhttps://t.co/Sx3L0o73tF

— Kbear 👹 in my Trigun Era 🤞⚡️ (@Kbearart) September 3, 2021

Store

New euphemism watch https://t.co/uIPwVO5WIs pic.twitter.com/BsAo9ytK8M

— southpaw (@nycsouthpaw) August 22, 2023

I don't think it was defined in the article?

Well, looks like someone found the origin of “close encounter of an athletic kind.”

So much for the unique , tailored AI writing experience the company promised. Looks more like madlibs. https://t.co/kefeRVmNya

— Sickos Committee (@SickosCommittee) August 22, 2023

Plastic straws sucks
Hot Dog Straws are in. https://t.co/hSvMgOgE6q pic.twitter.com/4TmgGc0GBu

— Mark Gallo (@guhlo) August 22, 2023

update pic.twitter.com/PBxrj74Xid

— William Cornell (@raincityseries) August 22, 2023

Bryson Stott's out there swingin' a pencil pic.twitter.com/r9pzb4WW2n

— Superdrunkmark69 (@cjzer0) August 21, 2023

can i just google names of people and "where is the money from" and get a straightforward answer

— Naomi Fry (@frynaomifry) August 13, 2023

One year ago today we had our tisch the night before our second wedding. some of my boys did watto impressions that were so crude and inscrutable to my family, an aunt asked me if they were being antisemitic. pic.twitter.com/HQXV5KMLbc

— Isi Baehr-Breen (@Isi_baehr) August 13, 2023

adam sandler as the bear jew is a bigger what if than kubrick's napoleon

— adis (@adpo97) August 14, 2023

Not a fan of Eli Roth movies, but he was a terrific guest on the Tarantino podcast

This and crusading local investigative journalism are what alt weeklys are FOR. https://t.co/BUv1pXA6Yq

— Nick Baumann (@NickBaumann) August 14, 2023

Was just leaving a pub and two lads left soon after. Was walking down an alleyway and the same two lads went 'Can we just go in front, love, don't want to look like we're following you!' And honestly 10/10 no notes. Men, keep doing this!

— MJ (@brayfordbird) August 11, 2023

@phoenixzoo It’s whackadoodle time #rhino #greateronehornedrhino #animalsofttiktok ♬ original sound - Phoenix Zoo

@hoagiefromphilly @Maine Pack Hikes is truly heaven on earth for a dog lover like our bride 🤍 🐾 #germanshepherd #corgipuppy #gsdoftiktok #gsdlover #puppylove #corgisoftiktok #hiking #hikingszn #bach #bridetok #weddingtiktok @betches brides ♬ What Dreams Are Made Of - Hilary Duff

*More funny posts.