Today's news and jokes

who's ready? pic.twitter.com/SZzKASp99r

— Nothing (@nothing) September 12, 2023

$29.

bonkers story. Popular decongestant is challenged by scientists in 2007 as being ineffective

FDA apparently says “hey, let’s keep it on the market”

Tens of millions take it.

16 years later FDA votes 16-0 that it really, truly doesn’t work https://t.co/ymIUO9tkp3

— Brian Sullivan (@SullyCNBC) September 13, 2023

"The FDA assembled its outside advisers to take another look at phenylephrine, which became the main drug in over-the-counter decongestants when medicines with an older ingredient — pseudoephedrine — were moved behind pharmacy counters. A 2006 law had forced the move because pseudoephedrine can be illegally processed into methamphetamine."

Mon: 2 @DrewBarrymore audience members were kicked out for wearing WGA buttons.

A show spokesperson expressed “regret” over the incident.

Tues: audiences leaving the Drew taping told us their bags and purses were searched by security, all WGA buttons were confiscated.

Cool.

— Greg Iwinski (@garyJackson) September 12, 2023

An update on the host of the 2023 National Book Awards. pic.twitter.com/aa5aLh0FIU

— National Book Foundation (@nationalbook) September 12, 2023

Not one journalist questioned whether Urban Meyer’s repeated indiscretions ruined the future for white coaches. https://t.co/hwglscJGNM

— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) September 12, 2023

This was also my experience with SoFi: "Parking is wildly expensive, traffic is apocalyptic and even making it to the site is like a mass Darwinian experiment." https://t.co/TEHeyB4lrL

— Laura J. Nelson 🦅 (@laura_nelson) September 11, 2023

"And as I also wrote, it’s only going to get worse once that Clippers arena is open."

This is the gun control America needshttps://t.co/E6yhfXPVnx

— Russell Brandom (@russellbrandom) September 11, 2023

if this goes through unity will kill the freemium casual game model. but also, bad things will happen

— zaratustra (parody account) 🧶 (@zarawesome) September 12, 2023

if you buy our Unity game, please don't install it

— Huenry Hueffman (@HenryHoffman) September 12, 2023

I love that there’s a stream of updates from 3rd parties that are all like

I talked to Unity and they clarified that:

1) the bad thing is even worse
2) the less bad thing is the same amount of bad
3) there’s a new secret 3rd bad thing that’s the worst thing you’ve ever heard

— Josh Sawyer (@jesawyer) September 13, 2023

also as much as this feels like the unfortunate tying of legal processes to partisan ends resulting from the trump precedent, the precedent of him not being removed after multiple impeachments kind of takes the sting out too

— csz (@cszabla) September 12, 2023

NEW: The Biden administration has a literal Trump card to play against the House GOP impeachment inquiry:

In 2020, Trump’s DOJ issued a binding legal opinion that impeachment inquiries are invalid without an official vote of the House.

w/ @joshgerstein https://t.co/dxgtwgGm9E

— Kyle Cheney (@kyledcheney) September 12, 2023

you gotta understand the basic dynamic here. there are no actual Biden scandals to cover, and the White House is extremely non-leaky. this makes the WHPC mad because it makes their jobs hard, unlike Trump when they could literally walk into a restaurant and find three scandals https://t.co/gk7Vk1KelT

— James Palmer (@BeijingPalmer) September 12, 2023

"He wouldnt tell me her name, and the campaign declined to make her available to chat, even off the record. Technically I can’t verify that she exists, except to note that for a presidential campaign to essentially reverse-catfish America would be insane." https://t.co/WSyAoCs9Fh

— Benjy Sarlin (@BenjySarlin) September 12, 2023

"The Republican operative who called me wasn’t sure said girlfriend existed. He suggested I look into it. He followed up on our conversation with an email that included a dossier of Scott’s known personal relationships. 'No fingerprints,' he said."

"is small talk ableist," "is it harm to offer your neighbor food," and similar discourses always just remind me of this: "you are a tar pit." pic.twitter.com/woWzWvwcM3

— transfeminine frankenstein, m.a. (@draculavoice) August 26, 2023

i can’t believe we have to make this shit pic.twitter.com/hz3dem3OKS

— boiled angel (@parasiticflesh) September 11, 2023

ICYMI: On Aug. 26, Shohei Ohtani damages Coors Light sign in CitiField. Without rights to him, the beer brand sells out of $17 commemorative cans and debuts campaign “Hits the spot.” Brilliance! pic.twitter.com/lVquFKMGo5

— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) September 11, 2023

This is incredible. A Wisconsin bar offered free drinks if the Jets lost. After Rodgers went down, they started running up their tabs. The news was live when the jets won in overtime and everyone realized they had to pay. pic.twitter.com/1QDVJq9Zlr

— David Hill (@davehill77) September 12, 2023

Yea I should’ve grabbed some screenshots here but I was too busy filling my library with the time I failed a pickpocket on a beach resort and everyone pulled guns out of their bikinis pic.twitter.com/OTE6cLFtmj

— Sam Barlow 🔥 IMMORTALITY (@mrsambarlow) September 9, 2023

Full set is here: https://t.co/gIIxs6tFz2

Also spent some time last night digitizing another box on the (now defunct) Alaskan Air Command https://t.co/yEx0rBsxEc pic.twitter.com/XetESxZcLQ

— Sam Biddle (@samfbiddle) August 11, 2023

This FBI agent in Detroit has this many degrees pic.twitter.com/aGgpmHsuKT

— Robert Snell (@robertsnellnews) August 28, 2023

Babysitter had some difficulty getting the toddler to sleep.

"It's the only way she would go down," she explained. "But you might want to go remove it."

"Remove what??"

No answer.

Dear reader: the "what" was a 4ft jumbo narwhal plush pic.twitter.com/6Jj0yMgxjp

— Forest Barnette ❤️‍🔥 (@foresthempen) August 17, 2023

spotted: pic.twitter.com/fAg2D4Lmd4

— Who? Weekly (@whoweekly) August 28, 2023

@parkerthelegoguy Replying to @crazycatstonks I took a tiny scale to Target to beat the LEGO Marvel CMF blind boxes! #lego #legos #legoset #legotiktok #legotiktoker #legotok #legofyp #legocollector #legomarvel #marvellego #legocmf #legominifigures #legominifigure ♬ original sound - Parker the LEGO Guy

@barstoolsports Doggo was going through it 😭 @I Can’t Even ♬ original sound - Barstool Sports

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