Today's news and jokes

Ayer fui a ver la carrera a una pizzería y me dieron una empanada con la forma del circuito El mejor día de vida 🇧🇷🏎 https://t.co/FfH7rHYBGG

— Luli (@lulistone12) November 9, 2026

Russia has taken over Japan Tobacco's plants, putting $9.5 billion of assets at risk. Tokyo’s timid line on Moscow has bought it nothing, and Japan's lingering dreams of better ties should now be extinguished. My latest, free to read: https://t.co/5EYG4u2Rcu

— Gearoid Reidy リーディー・ガロウド (@GearoidReidy) November 11, 2026

("last week, the Kremlin announced it had taken over factories belonging to Japan Tobacco, the dominant player in the domestic cigarette market. Its assets in Russia are worth some ¥1.5 trillion ($9.5 billion), the company said on Monday, with the market making up about a quarter of its adjusted operating profit. The stock lost a third of its value since the news broke. It’s likely no coincidence that the government in Tokyo is the largest shareholder — and thus one of the heaviest losers")

The CIA partnered last year with a corrupt Mexican prosecutor who's in bed with the cartels, ostensibly to take out those same cartels, according to a report this morning from NYT. The prosecutor, Guillermo Portillo, reportedly just had his US visa revoked due to his cartel ties, and he worked with the CIA to have it reinstated. The CIA's activities in Mexico were revealed in April when a truck carrying two officers crashed. Now, Portillo is wanted by the Mexican government for treason.

— Ken Silva (@JD_Cashless) November 10, 2026

Inside the CIA’s armed operations in Mexico: The CIA enlisted a Chihuahua state prosecutor under investigation by the FBI for his suspected cartel ties. He embedded CIA officers with state police—and got his revoked U.S. visa back. The CIA sought to build a Mexican special forces unit in Chihuahua state CIA officers helped plan Mexican police deployments, and provided rifle cover during one raid. Masked Americans joined a meth-lab raid. Two CIA officers later died in a cliffside crash, exposing the mission. With @jacknicas https://t.co/BGgXYGEFoz

— Steve Fisher (@Stevelfisher) November 10, 2026

Recently, FamilySearch digitized and uploaded tons of microfilmed records, including many from 18th-century Massachsuetts. They're using some sort of AI to transcribe/summarize the handwritten documents. I've noticed that the AI strips out references to race and enslavement in 18thc documents.

— Caitlin G. DeAngelis (@caitlindeangelis.bsky.social) May 13, 2026 at 4:46 PM

Something that strikes me about anthropic kneecapping the slop "recompilation" games is that it's a phenomenal example of how this tech is meant to, among other heinous things, control knowledge and means. They can just stop giving you knowledge and rip away your tools on a whim.

— pc2000s (@pc2000s.bsky.social) November 10, 2026 at 5:34 AM

this is so sad https://t.co/SVJbN0Da3O

— gibby from icarly (@monolilium) November 10, 2026

Padme’s medical droid: She just lost the will to live. Me (there for some reason): Wait, what? That’s not a thing. Droid: Good catch—You’re right, my first diagnosis of “lost her will to live” was incorrect. She actually had a massive cerebral hemorrhage.

— …Andrew Will Know Us by the Trail of the Dead (@abndesigns) November 7, 2026

maybe "how would you avoid a honey trap?" should replace "what are your greatest strengths and weaknesses?" in job interviews

— Christopher Mims (@mims.bsky.social) November 10, 2026 at 6:42 AM

"i wouldn't be seduced by a spy" you were seduced by a phd program

— Hadas Weiss (@hadas.bsky.social) November 9, 2026 at 9:12 PM

Diet Coke always tastes better when you share it with a friend. Thank you for this “cake”, @RepAOC, I just hope my doctor doesn’t see this. https://t.co/up2eRxRZf6

— Rep. Debbie Dingell (@RepDebDingell) November 10, 2026

Very fun scooplet: AOC delivered a UMich-themed Diet Coke tower to Debbie Dingell this afternoon Dingell was pretty much running on Diet Coke during the campaign cycle https://t.co/hFcla7BedC

— Oriana González (@ReporterOriana) November 10, 2026

Dear Internet: I haven’t heard a fucking thing. People sometimes wonder what future seasons of Halt and Catch Fire would’ve been. They would’ve arrived at social media and AI and the characters would’ve killed themselves.

— Chris Cantwell (@ifyoucantwell.bsky.social) November 10, 2026 at 5:45 PM

Nothing’s cancelled. Calm down.

— Chris Cantwell (@ifyoucantwell.bsky.social) November 10, 2026 at 7:37 PM

(Referring to Lanterns, I believe) (He's available to be Bond...)

Absolute Batman just saved DC from restructuring ig https://t.co/OTYUGO3uCZ

— Barbie ♡ (@ZatannasWand) November 10, 2026

Toyota is relaunching the Scion brand, and its first product is the KEI-01, a tiny truck with a 660-cc engine. The KEI-01 is basically a rebadged Daihatsu Hijet Jumbo, but will be assembled in Princeton, Indiana. Initial sales will be via a fleet-focused trial program, but limited retail sales could come if there is strong enough demand.

— Car and Driver (@CARandDRIVER) November 10, 2026

If I'm following this right? 1. Bengals agree to a trade 2. Had no idea it would've cost them a Round 3 compensatory pick 3. Realize it through Twitter 4. Back out of trade The Bengals are an $8 billion business. Just hire the spreadsheet virgins Howie has.

— Adam Levitan (@adamlevitan) November 10, 2026

This tweet by @nickkorte was literally worth millions of dollars to the Bengals

— Seth Walder (@SethWalder) November 10, 2026

To review: we had an open competition at QB between McCarthy, Murray and Wentz. Nobody won.

— Gregg Swedberg (@ThatsALottaGs) November 10, 2026

Brian Flores should add this entire Vikings offense to his lawsuit

— Chase Snyder (@ChasingSnyder) November 10, 2026

I mean how awful must practice look when the Vikings offense plays the Vikings defense

— Honest Viking Fan (@honestvikingfan) November 10, 2026

Fun Fact: Kirk Cousins is being paid by THREE teams in 2026. This man's agent is a full demon.

— Coach 🔔 (@TheCoachesDesk) November 10, 2026

In all honesty, if Cousins plays at the level he was playing at in Las Vegas, the Vikings could absolutely lose in the Wild Card round again.

— Eric Thompson (@eric_j_thompson) November 10, 2026

The Cardinals need a QB and Kyler Murray is out of a job let’s get toxic

— Ralph Amsden (@ralphamsden) November 10, 2026

The Chargers have lost four beat reports in just the first half of the season Nobody wants to cover this team 😭 https://t.co/MOSOE2CbT2

— ChargersMuse (@ChargersMuse) November 10, 2026

Chargers had a mental health workshop TODAY at The Bolt with Daiyan Henley as a speaker… You CAN’T make this up 😭 #boltup https://t.co/zCbi3K9UBw

— ChargersHype (@ChargersHype) November 10, 2026

(They traded him today)

I just hope that eventually Brown and Tatum shake hands, and that when they do it, they do it like Kevin Love and Wesley Johnson.

[image or embed]

— Dan Devine (@yourmandevine.bsky.social) November 10, 2026 at 5:49 PM

(Sixers don't seem to have someone who can play point guard or center.)

We're less than 10 days into Nov and The Leafs already got Carelton the Bear lookin like Ben Affleck. https://t.co/9uSTQaK02P

— Chucky Picks (@SmokesIndoors) November 9, 2026

Coaches are always supposed to avoid change when playoffs begin. But SO Notre Dame coach Evan Yabu made the boldest change move. He started freshman West Dunton at QB and moved Tahj Skinner to WR. Tahj caught 10 passes in 20-19 win. Wow.

— eric sondheimer (@latsondheimer) November 9, 2026

This must have caused crazy drama?

My dog brought a DEAD POSSUM into the kitchen. Obviously, this was traumatic. My mom and I freaked out for 20 minutes while my dad hunted for a shovel. When he finally scooted the possum onto it, the possum opened one eye, looked around, and closed it again. He was PLAYING DEAD. My dad carried him outside and set him on the ground. The possum kept up the act for another 10 minutes. Then he got up and walked away totally fine. But look at that picture. The tiny clenched paw. Mouth open mid scream, tongue out. Très dramatique 10/10 performance

— tater tot (@parakeetnebula) October 10, 2026

Absolute scenes on the neighbourhood WhatsApp group. Someone's cat went missing and they put up posters, leading to the discovery that their cat has also been living with a different family for the past *12 years*.

— Gavin Hales (@gmhales) November 9, 2026

@austinveterinarian This sweet angel is Chloe! Dr. Bowen and the team has been doing bandage changes all month for a wound that is on her chest. She has been such a brave girl and we love seeing her healing progress. Good girl Chloe ❤️ #petsoftiktok #dogtok #lovedogs ♬ la la la la laaa - Yas

@mr.thechihuahua He just shoves it into my hand repeatedly #dogsoftiktok #smalldog #funnydog #chihuahua #puppytiktok ♬ un homme et une femme - 🎀

*More funny posts.