imagine you’re a moth and your single day of existence was spent being in lord of the rings pic.twitter.com/Fk3fxe2nAr— count chuckula π¦π¦ (@charlubby) October 17, 2018
husband: argh! this warranty service is ridiculous! i’m done. DONE!— πΈ ☠️ Katie Chironis π π» (@kchironis) October 20, 2018
[stomps off to the bathroom, shower starts]
husband, grumpy: alexa play moana
time to tweet this again. it has permanently changed me pic.twitter.com/axmwRPpwHP— pumpkin spice liz bruenig (@ebruenig) October 20, 2018
[Stargazing]— Evil Lettuce (@newLettuce) October 15, 2018
Child: And every night the Moon sings a lullaby to the Earth
[Meteor streaks across sky]
Dad: See that? Your boring story killed a star
All I'm saying dawg is i ain't never seen a baby pigeon pic.twitter.com/h6bDJJvMPl— b 80oz (@beerizmA1) October 16, 2018
Be careful what you wish for.....pic.twitter.com/7fCEqRI9Ty— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) October 20, 2018
Baseball is the coolest sport because, at any moment, the catcher can stop the game and go tell the pitcher a secret π€— RΓΈb Fee (@robfee) April 6, 2017
{Lying on my deathbed}— Actually, It’s MehGyver’s Monster (@AndrewNadeau0) October 22, 2018
ME: I want you—*cough cough* I want—*Gasp*
WIFE: Yes, what is it? Anything.
ME: I want you to bury me in a position and circumstance future archaeologists will find confusing. But, like, in a funny way.
more and more people are turning to sparkling water to deliver the bubbles that still water simply can't - or won't— ringworm (@prawn_meat) October 18, 2018
We were all thinking it #HauntingOfHillHouse pic.twitter.com/vRGYnQVJTA— Robert V Gallegos (@heartnskull999) October 15, 2018