Super Punch: Today's news and jokes

Saturday, December 2, 2023

Today's news and jokes

My one comment on Wonka for now is that they very clearly took a photo of him standing up and put "sitting down" legs under the coat in the poster and it looks insane. pic.twitter.com/I1f4bQEg43
— Erick Lorinc 🎃 (@ErickLorinc) December 1, 2023

(Genuine poster)

🚨 BREAKING: "Everything indicates" a Chinese ship damaged the Baltic pipeline on purpose, Finland said.https://t.co/qgHJRLseXG
— POLITICOEurope (@POLITICOEurope) December 1, 2023

“I'm not the sea captain. But I would think that you would notice that you're dragging an anchor behind you for hundreds of kilometers”

A lot of ppl saying “this is a ghost kitchen” and “this is the restaurant doing this, not Uber Eats”. 1. It’s not a ghost kitchen, it’s a local brick and mortar pizza shop in NYC that’s been around for a long time, and 2, I’m going to call them tomorrow and ask if they did this
— Listen to Online Boy on Spotify or else (threat) (@realonlineboy) December 1, 2023

what the hell..representatives of a fictitious country have managed to sign agreements with politicians worldwide and take place in UN committee meetings. the chief of staff of paraguay's agriculture ministry just resigned in shame over this https://t.co/gEtFqlVdrG
— csz (@cszabla) December 1, 2023

"In March, Newark city hall in New Jersey acknowledged it had been scammed when it signed a sister city agreement with Kailasa."

Cannot believe Vox's "senior foreign policy writer" still has this wildly bullshit tweet up a day later. The United States is not fighting a war in Austria, you clown. https://t.co/qa8KzFaN94
— John  (@johnlk_80) November 30, 2023

The Cinerama Dome was built in 4 months.

Its reopening looks to be 5 years.https://t.co/uaSoZITqDY
— L.A. Dork (@la_dorkout) December 1, 2023

cybertruck makes a lot more sense now i know it caters exclusively to the "guys who shoot their own car" demographic
— i n n e s (@innesmck) December 1, 2023