Tuesday, February 3, 2026

Today's news and jokes

I haven’t used Microsoft’s office suite in about 3 years and cancelled it a long time ago but just got charged for it. So I go to support and have to demonstrate that I’m not a robot and this is the test

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— Elizabeth Spiers (@espiers.bsky.social) February 1, 2026 at 7:39 AM

There’s no way an elderly person with truly crappy eyesight could do this but I also suspect I’m just training an AI here. @microsoft.com , WTF

— Elizabeth Spiers (@espiers.bsky.social) February 1, 2026 at 7:41 AM

I have tried to complete this series of test five times and failed because in some of the images there is nothing at all that resembles the shape on the left

— Elizabeth Spiers (@espiers.bsky.social) February 1, 2026 at 7:42 AM






DHS said that the woman CBP shot in the chest in Portland was “involved” in a gang shooting. Her ~involvement~ was that suspected gang members sexually assaulted and robbed her.

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— Julia Carrie Wong (@joolia.bsky.social) February 2, 2026 at 6:02 PM








FYI, Kristi Noem’s full initials are K.L.A.N.

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— J. - Project 2025 expert (@johnathanperk.bsky.social) February 1, 2026 at 6:43 PM








I can't believe we're gonna get to buy our Halloween costumes at the damn Kennedy Center.

— George Wallace (@mrgeorgewallace.bsky.social) February 2, 2026 at 4:35 PM








You may recall the many stories the paper ran—clearly fed to them by the administration—saying Harvard was about to fully capitulate any second now.

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— Kieran Healy (@kjhealy.co) February 2, 2026 at 3:09 PM
(Article still squeezes this in, "Some connected to the university, however, think Harvard has no option but to eventually cut a deal")







Even in Elon Musk’s denial of his involvement with Epstein—which directly contradicts the available evidence—the world’s richest man is still claiming he knew all about “pedo island” and didn’t do anything to stop it. Even in their fantasies of innocence they’re still directly enabling child abuse

— Kat Tenbarge (@kattenbarge.bsky.social) February 2, 2026 at 7:21 AM




Today is the third time Elon Musk has bought Twitter in four years.

— Ryan Mac ๐Ÿ™ƒ (@rmac.bsky.social) February 2, 2026 at 4:47 PM








epstien was breeding the evil pedophile Kwisatz Haderach

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— ๐Ÿ” Brian Bucklew ๐Ÿ” โ‚‘ͤ＞∿＜โ‚‘ͤ ∞๐ŸŒฎ (@unormal.bsky.social) February 2, 2026 at 8:07 PM








Have found it quite underreported in the UK that the Norwegians are speedrunning a total collapse in approval for the monarchy. www.theguardian.com/world/2026/f...

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— Jack Tindale (@jacktindale.bsky.social) February 2, 2026 at 2:43 AM
("come at a sensitive time for the royal family. The trial of [her] son, ...for rape is due to begin on Tuesday")







("On Friday, exhausted traders watched in shock as the precious metal plunged by that much in less than 20 hours")















"Today" show host Savannah Guthrie's mother, Nancy, is missing in Arizona in what police believe was an abduction from her home while she slept, sheriff says

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— Phil Lewis (@phillewis.bsky.social) February 2, 2026 at 5:53 PM




remember when cal ripken’s mom was kidnapped but it was like possibly some elaborate hoax or setup and no one ever figured out what happened? does anyone know what happened

— Jason Koebler (@jasonkoebler.bsky.social) February 2, 2026 at 2:01 PM
ESPN article from 2012 (I'm not going to link to any speculation)















There should be a D&D monster called the Chotiner that’s completely harmless unless you speak to it. Roll a wisdom saving throw to avoid engaging the Chotiner.

— Mr. Bunny Slippers (@maxtropolitan.bsky.social) February 1, 2026 at 4:20 PM
But also the victim seems to suffer no real injury







Punxsutawney Phil may have said 6 more weeks of winter, but other weather critters disagree.

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— Sickos Committee (@sickoscommittee.org) February 2, 2026 at 12:18 PM










Luckily for me and my likeness, I cannot be de-aged. If you try to de-age me I just age forward. I also age forward if you age me normally. I have congenital achiral aging, and it is NOT covered by my insurance

— jason grinblat (@jfg.land) February 2, 2026 at 9:24 PM








("The Seahawks and NBA's Portland Trail Blazers have been owned by the Paul G. Allen Trust since the former owner and Microsoft co-founder died of cancer in 2018. Jody Allen, his sister, took control of the teams, and as the chair of the trust, she has a directive from her brother to eventually sell them and donate the proceeds to charitable efforts")































































@miniaturwunderland

Maintenance work can look this exciting ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

♬ Originalton - Miniatur Wunderland








@espnw This was cold ๐Ÿฅถ (via @makynlee.cova) #wrestling #pose #tough #espnsocial ♬ Electric Girl - The Tangram








@zeina_track I can’t explain to ppl anymore how pv works #polevault #fyp #trackandfield #relatable ♬ original sound - J.W Eventing








@gregtheig snow on the forecast.. send help!! #italiangreyhound #sighthounds #dogsoftiktok ♬ original sound - gregtheig




*More funny posts.
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