Today's news and jokes

obsessed with the font on IKEA's clam chowder packaging. this is what's in the freezer on the Nostromo

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— davemakes🔶 (@mixolumia.com) July 31, 2026 at 1:29 AM

Oh I immediately recognised that font! It's Shin Go, probably most recognizable for being the go-to font for the UI in every other Nintendo game (although they use a very slightly modified version).

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— Howling Techie (@howlingtechie.bsky.social) July 31, 2026 at 1:56 AM

Or could be New Rodin

I love Talarico and hope he wins. But he’s already raised $70M On the flipside, control of critical state legislatures will come down to seats where candidates raise 0.1% of that. I’ve researched the highest leverage swing district candidates you should donate to secure.actblue.com/donate/donat...

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— Sam (@samd.bsky.social) August 2, 2026 at 11:53 AM

The beach drops off by 8 feet in some areas, officials say.

Read more: https://t.co/JT5Omhv1Zq pic.twitter.com/WCaugeSm1M

— KTLA (@KTLA) August 2, 2026

("Public restrooms are also closed in the area because the erosion damaged a water line")

You’re laughing? People who have been committing tax fraud for so long they’ve forgotten it’s tax fraud are seeing their chickens come to roost and you’re laughing?? https://t.co/peBvSnbMgJ

— The Concept of a Tweet (@brandon_lighty) August 1, 2026

Watch Trump's caddie helping the golfer in chief. pic.twitter.com/SxRO7uiVQL https://t.co/OJiJGIzjAU

— Webster Reels (@ReelsWebster) August 2, 2026

(The guy in the blue sleeves right before he reaches the sand trap. This actually happened a year ago. You can see how the administration responded to USA Today when confronted)

Not one but TWO new NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET movies are in development, with Paramount and Warner Bros. racing to bring Freddy Krueger back to the big screen first.

Let's dive into this crazy story: https://t.co/BiFpITLEh7

— Bloody Disgusting (@BDisgusting) July 31, 2026

Find the 5 words from your birth year that perfectly describe YOUR vibe ⬇️ www.merriam-webster.com/time-traveler/

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— Merriam-Webster (@merriam-webster.com) July 31, 2026 at 6:50 AM

국중박 분장대회 출품 했는데 인스타에 잘하는 사람들이 넘 많아서 심란해짐...

난 걍 결선까지 가서 서울 구경하고 싶은 촌놈일 뿐인데!!!! pic.twitter.com/uNsEt3KxZR

— 최해려 (@choihaeryeo) August 1, 2026

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— Independent Republic of JS Thrill (@jsthrill.modphi.com) August 2, 2026 at 9:13 AM

If you told me a majority of MLB owners were colluding so that they could use the Dodgers as the reason for a salary cap…

I’d probably believe you at this point.

— Rich MacLeod (@richmacleod) August 2, 2026

Jacob Misiorowski on the cutters, the Angel Stadium mound (“One of the worst mounds I’ve had.”) and a strong no comment on all things Trade Deadline-related. pic.twitter.com/MR6dONIFPb

— Adam McCalvy (@AdamMcCalvy) August 2, 2026

Here it is!! GEEZ US!! pic.twitter.com/SsbkUCd9kY

— dawnstaley (@dawnstaley) August 2, 2026

Ordered a football shirt from a company called Surprise Shirts. Got a Welsh team Llantwit Major goalkeeper shirt from 24/25 @LlantwitMajorFC pic.twitter.com/5qtHAOuEDp

— Carl Jackson (@CarlfromWolves) July 11, 2026

Webstore

@ashleeknichols @wynnlasvegas 👏👏👏 #fyp #vegas #lasvegas #foodie #foodreview ♬ Funny Song - Sounds Reel

@lifeonvenus98

So many nugget in one place was crazzyyyyy

♬ Celtic Flashy Celtic Music - Masucu

@kenahthevettech I may be biased but they’re the most perfect dogs to exist 🥹 #ladyandthetramp #trend #dogsoftiktok #cuteanimals #dogmom ♬ Footloose & Collar-Free/Bella Notte - From "Lady and the Tramp"/Soundtrack Version - Oliver Wallace & George Givot & Disney Studio Chorus

*More funny posts.