White House Says Mueller Report Must Be Kept Private Because It’s So Exonerating It Would Drive Public Mad https://t.co/jVEwxonOgl pic.twitter.com/boucLqcymN— The Onion (@TheOnion) April 4, 2019
i've always been the kind of politician who would greet a woman by gently tracing my lips across her clavicle while her husband stood feebly nearby, aware of her discomfort but too weak to stop me. but times are changing, and i plan to change with them. please let me be in charge— Law Boy, Esq. (@The_Law_Boy) April 3, 2019
Still thinking about this impeccable comic from Slate’s review of the Segway launch in 2001. pic.twitter.com/AmS4pLnjUP— Bennett (@bfod) April 4, 2019
As tax season wraps up, never forget Joan Rivers wrote off her beautiful new dress and when the IRS challenged her on it she said “of course it’s only for stand-up. It’s so tight I can’t sit down! and demonstrated she couldn’t sit down in it and they had to let her write it off— Ariana Lenarsky (@aardvarsk) April 4, 2019
Re: PET SEMATARY: I just keep thinking about whose job it was on set every day to dirty up the cat. Like, “oh, yeah, I have to go in early tomorrow, I have to rub some Vaseline and coffee grounds on this cat” pic.twitter.com/MabAchXCYH— Katie Rife (@FutureSchlock) April 4, 2019
im too scared to see Pet Sematary I think but I would like to say I support how handsome and big that cat is pic.twitter.com/imheRO04Rk— tom schwartz’s transition lenses (@rachelmillman) April 4, 2019
I just found this photo of my nephew dressed as Albert Einstein in the Orange County Halloween costume contest from years ago. And before you ask, yes-he won. pic.twitter.com/aRuktJFaCP— Shannon Stirone (@shannonmstirone) April 4, 2019
One funny test to see if you're face blind is to watch Dead Poet's Society and see if you can keep straight which of the sport-coat-wearing uniform-haircut-sporting normatively-behaving vocally-indistinguishable rich white boys is which. ;)— myk awareness month (@mykola) April 2, 2019
How many different JOKER movies are they making? https://t.co/dWOlrZEE8A— Joseph K. (@bittentongue) April 4, 2019
We all know that the Joker's real origin story was that he worked as comedian, but that his edgy humor no longer played well on college campuses.— 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐳 (@casersatz) April 3, 2019
*More funny posts.