Some people joked that a zombie apocalypse was taking place in Shanghai's Yangpu district earlier today, but it was just an alleged abnormal test result and fears of being locked in for 48hrs causing people to flee the scene as soon as they could. #COVID19 pic.twitter.com/KBVtqePWln— Manya Koetse (@manyapan) August 12, 2022
Nothing about Trump has ever looked kinda bad at first but turned out OK. He's always worse than you thought.— Tom Scocca (@tomscocca) October 8, 2016
"My net worth fluctuates, and it goes up and down with the markets and with attitudes and with feelings, even my own feelings, but I try."
This is (1) exactly the quality I would expect from today’s Heritage Foundation and (2) exactly what I’d expect from Trump, who once testified his net worth fluctuated based on his interior thoughts and feelings. https://t.co/SozAI5GoXW— LightReadingMaterialHat (@Popehat) August 12, 2022
I...don't think this is real?
he’s already fundraising pic.twitter.com/LHukDxFJkf— Mike Scollins (@mikescollins) August 12, 2022
Did not expect to end the day with a nonzero chance that LIV Golf is a money laundering scheme for nuclear secrets— ᴅᴇʀᴇᴋ ᴍᴇᴀᴅ (@derektmead) August 12, 2022
you know, you really don't hear much about FDR's post-presidency, do you? https://t.co/tzVQDyzYR3— Max Steele (@maxasteele) August 11, 2022
UK news is amazing, half the headlines are “authorities warn that five of the ten plagues will come this winter — at the minimum” and then the other half are “Truss promises to remove woke propaganda from the rails as prime minister”— Matthew Zeitlin (@MattZeitlin) August 12, 2022
An excellent indication that you are successfully changing the frame to justice is this: People will start wanting to talk about politeness, who were strangely never interested in it before.— A.R. Moxon (@JuliusGoat) August 12, 2022
The ‘final straw’ app surely.— Ali Hughes (@AliAliAfro) August 12, 2022
In the worst case of touch grass known to man, I just picked up an item in Tesco thinking I needed it and walked around with it in my basket for 5 full minutes before realising that I needed it to finish a quest in Yakuza: Like A Dragon, not for something in my actual real life.— Sam “Captain” (@sam101chap) August 3, 2022
Saddening that this is maybe my most successful tweet ever and it's about how tragic my life is pic.twitter.com/wRXtXg4d70— Sam “Captain” (@sam101chap) August 4, 2022
I really dislike Fortnite's approach to adding IPs in their game. It feels boring when you can buy a Star Wars skin through the store, unlike Quake 3, where you join a server, download tons of suspicious files, and see a Brazilian with a Johnny Bravo skin dominate the leaderboard pic.twitter.com/JxAeqJRDZz— WreckinRod (@WreckinRod) July 28, 2022
My friend said "Fahrenheit is how people feel. Celcius is how water feels. Kelvin is how the molecules feel." and I can't stop thinking about how much sense this makes— Themperor Kennedy🐸🏳️🌈 (@kennedytcooper) August 4, 2022
There was an edition of Ed Wood’s stories (Blood Splatters Quickly, OR Books, 2014) that came with a tiny handmade angora sweater that the book can wear. Please universe find me one of these I beg you. 😭 pic.twitter.com/rbFE4wM7Kg— Rebecca Baumann (@arkhamlibrarian) August 5, 2022
*previous puck fair brides* pic.twitter.com/09wKtL4eyD— ekin-su apologist (@GrrlGhost) August 11, 2022
You’re comin home with me♬ Good Day - Nappy Roots
*More funny posts.