Today's funny posts

Day 5
Flame@inktober
#Inktober #inktober2022 pic.twitter.com/xBjG1j7H3l

— Ilya Stallone (@ilya_stallone) October 5, 2022

Now that the campaign season is over, I want to clear up the claims about Albuquerque’s crime stats. Over 5 years, overall, property and violent crime are down, thanks to the officers, detectives and professionals throughout APD. pic.twitter.com/bWwObVEv5U

— APD Chief of Police (@ABQPoliceChief) November 9, 2022

Woah shit pic.twitter.com/shaShP7ZFK

— Will Salmon (@evilrobotbill) November 10, 2022

Thanks Elon, but I’d prefer to receive my blue check the old fashioned way: Getting an entry level job at a media company writing blogs about how candy is racist and having 432 followers.

— Ray Kump (@RayKump) November 10, 2022

elon basically forcing brands to tweet things like "we're sorry you ever thought insulin could be free," incredible scenes https://t.co/D2X6ciJQZa

— Brandon Hardin (@hardin) November 10, 2022

At this point, you should be able to buy the “China state-affiliated media” tags too

— Lucia Tang (@lqtang) November 11, 2022

A desperate, desperate need to try to convince himself that other people aren't real

— Tom Scocca (@tomscocca) November 11, 2022

it is such a fucking strange feeling. like being on an MMO that's closing or something, except for even stupider reasons

— your himbo boyfriend (@swolecialism) November 10, 2022

Why would you leave twitter now when your chances of being the beneficiary of a class action lawsuit are increasing by the second

— transfer to monadic & logoic planes at clark/lake (@alopex_ii) November 10, 2022

(FYI if you're reverting to the old ways, I've used Feedly for years--it's a perfectly fine RSS reader.) (Although it doesn't display a lot of the images I post.)

Closest I can think of is when Czar Alexander II's train derailed in 1888 and killed 23 people, because Alexander was drunkenly demanding the engineer go faster and when the guy explained that's not how trains work Alexander accused him of being a Jewhttps://t.co/ywfMQG95no

— Zack Budryk (@BudrykZack) November 11, 2022

Borki train disaster

gotta say I thought this was a joke pic.twitter.com/yw1bHV8QOW

— official (@alexhern) November 10, 2022

you can keep buying them too pic.twitter.com/sjzWA7mhVK

— Solar ☁️ Coms Open (@SEclipse26) November 11, 2022

Lmao did customer deposits go to funding this https://t.co/a2z1jVKcLK

— Ryan Mac 🙃 (@RMac18) November 11, 2022

>Literally has "Bankman" in name
>Loses all his money trying to evade banking systems

Kojima does it again https://t.co/Kn72fQG7s0

— Conzo 🏴‍☠️ (@GravelordNeato) November 11, 2022

What a dark, dark, dark day. I'm utterly devastated to report that, with FTX Future Fund folding, the probability of 10^45 digital people coming to exist within the Milky Way galaxy may have just fallen by 0.001%. However bad you think climate change is, THIS IS WAY WORSE. https://t.co/rlGJ8njcgu

— Émile P. Torres 🏳️‍⚧️ (@xriskology) November 11, 2022

there's a big "why can't Dems be assholes like Reps" constitutency but this seems like a fundamental misreading of Fetterman's campaign. It wasn't driven by anger but the idea that Oz wasn't even worth taking seriously. It wasn't "fuck this guy." It was "fuck this clown." https://t.co/khKYY7siU4

— Sam Adams (@SamuelAAdams) November 10, 2022

What a terrifying picture of my Indian food pic.twitter.com/00NtHQrabc

— philippe “total landscaping” iujvidin🥉 (@philyuck) October 31, 2022

i love to update the operating system on my television. its so cool that there's another little computer in there which does nothing for me that i despise and have to take care of

— thinking of becoming a necklace guy (@fart) October 30, 2022

grinding. working hard. eye twitching. focused. getting my shit DONE. eye twitching so much i’m actually worried. kicking ass and taking names. getting paid. eye spasming for almost minutes at a time. sending an email

— charlie (@chunkbardey) October 26, 2022

why is 55° in LA colder than anything I've ever experienced in the dead of winter in Canada

— Matt O'Brien (@matt_obrien) October 26, 2022

Chef Kinopio AKA Chef Toad is an original character created for Super Nintendo World. There’s a lot of exclusive merch found inside the park! #Mario #Nintendo pic.twitter.com/2esAO6A6gc

— Tokyo Game Life (@TokyoGameLife) October 28, 2022

Chef Kinopio merch at ebay.

I still don't get why GRU spies insist on leaving reviews online. Another GRU spy, the poisoner/explosives saboteur Gordienko, had left hotel reviews on https://t.co/4mLgNnADah after each hotel stay on assignment. https://t.co/SJVyclLHRS

— Christo Grozev (@christogrozev) October 28, 2022

Sometimes

— FLAVOR FLAV (@FlavorFlav) November 10, 2022

This exchange is magnificent. pic.twitter.com/6Y1Xos0fTl

— Jeremy B. Mazur (@jeremybmazur) November 8, 2022

@trissyhon2

Check out this Mortimer High School (Alabama) drummer at state competition. I would be so sick! ✌️

♬ original sound - Trisha Gardner

@dapperboyonyx I was framed. #dog #dogtok #labrador #cattledog #dogpark ♬ nhạc nền - ✨Manifestation✨

*More funny posts.