My assailant pic.twitter.com/FZkZEA2n1x
— Dr. Gunner Misses the Target (@gunnertaylorgt) March 27, 2024
A political candidate who sells Bibles during Holy Week to pay lawyers who, among other things, are defending him in a hush money case involving a porn star is a Flannery O’Connor story for our time.
— Brandon Jones (@brandoncjones) March 27, 2024
(Ran unopposed)A classic tale: A newly elected coroner discovers a body bag in his office, interprets it as a death threat, and calls in the bomb squad.
— Joshua Benton (@jbenton) March 26, 2024
Turns out there was a body bag at the coroner's office BECAUSE IT IS LITERALLY THE CORONER'S OFFICE, THE PLACE WITH ALL THE BODY BAGS. https://t.co/TxWMhpk42E
I read “Neither the Schlapps nor the ACU paid me anything to dismiss my claims against them” to mean “someone else paid me to do this.” https://t.co/59aH5OQM5b
— Brian Beutler (@brianbeutler) March 26, 2024
(“I am only legally allowed to say five words, and that is ‘We have resolved our differences.’ Those are the only five words that I’m legally allowed to say.”)CNN: The Republican operative who accused American Conservative Union chairman Matt Schlapp of sexual assault last year received a significant financial settlement in exchange for dropping his lawsuit against Schlapp, multiple sources familiar with the case told CNN.
— Andy Kaczynski (@KFILE) March 28, 2024
The $480,000…
My favorite part is the umbrella
— mir.i.am (@jewbyboobie) March 26, 2024
this photo has such album cover potential pic.twitter.com/gkTBfanrYO
— Jared Gilman (@realJaredGilman) March 27, 2024
this website was always like an amusement park next to a sewage treatment plant, but now it's like the sewage treatment plant bought the amusement park and most of the rides are gone. and the ones that are left have been moved inside the sewage treatment plant.
— Ashwin Rodrigues (@shwinyo) March 27, 2024
when someone leaked Ralph Lauren's 65% off employee-only discount code and it spread through the internet and @JustBlaze bought lamps, chairs, chandeliers, and a $7,500 crystal skull https://t.co/1nfsxkpZ5q
— derek guy (@dieworkwear) March 28, 2024
The best era of X-Men… pic.twitter.com/SllDGdqIm3
— Jon Goff (@Jonathan_Goff) February 17, 2024
i’m at a korean spa, and did a treatment called a “volcanic sand bath” where they bury your whole body in hot sand, and all i could think about is how good of a hitman level it would be
— Nicole He (@nicolehe) February 17, 2024
No fit goes as hard as the Face Off shorts pic.twitter.com/RkATRGLSc6
— Miles Kampf-Lassin (@MilesKLassin) February 17, 2024
Lecturer comes in to hold seminar, throws a T-shirt on the table and says:
— Jakabfi Károly (霸王最忠之臣子） (@JakabfiK) February 15, 2024
”Okay, first task for today: You guys try to figure out the occassion this T-shirt was made for.” pic.twitter.com/NOkPeQOTIW
My Name is pic.twitter.com/KvYlSXNANg
— नेकोसत्त्व:: ⲛⲉⲕⲟϩⲁⲧⲧⲩⲁ:: некосаттва (@neko_girl92) February 17, 2024
this guy was a lil too agro pic.twitter.com/K2R4EsylqT
— Josh Sawyer (@jesawyer) February 17, 2024
@az_vet_direct Gotta love the DRAMA! 😆 #frenchie #funny #dramatic #animals #vetmed #mobilevet ♬ Funny - Gold-Tiger
*More funny posts.