Ten funny tweets

I've always wondered why this area is so littered.

... There's a magpie picking stuff out of the bin and throwing it on the floor. pic.twitter.com/7JmGGi1Ibj

— Soph (@SophieWarnes) December 31, 2019

Ok I’m going to be very honest right now - I’ve had that thought

— Rian Johnson (@rianjohnson) December 30, 2019

Peter crouch playing golf has helped me through the heaviest of comedowns yeno, has me in bits everytime pic.twitter.com/v4ZlT3QcZV

— Lewy (@Lewyb96) December 29, 2019

Everyone who just got a peloton for Xmas:
Do you HAVE to be on the bike or can you just leave the screen on to have encouragement screamed at you all day long?

— Andy MacDonald (@andymacdeez) December 31, 2019

i never told my mom this but one time i threw a party in high school and someone peed in the cat's litter box so when she got back there was a giant petrified human piss brick and she cried while taking the cat to the vet all while i watched and said nothing to avoid being caught

— not brendan (@crocodilethumbs) December 30, 2019

When I was like 9 a boy told me he liked me and I panicked and told him I am not allowed to like boys because my mom thinks boys are gross (??) and he asked if my mom is a lesbian and I lied and said yes and he said his mom is too and they should meet. I think about this a lot.

— na'ama. (@iknownaama) December 31, 2019

“Computer folks” 😅 https://t.co/UHnKVsAkrI

— B/R Gridiron (@brgridiron) December 31, 2019

Him just throwing the word "software" in there is killing me.

"You know, hard drives, CD-roms, things of that nature." https://t.co/l5VxjqoH3R

— Steven Ruiz (@theStevenRuiz) December 31, 2019

I'm so sick of unexpected character deaths for shock value. This is a terrible pilates video.

— Nick Amadeus (@NickAmadeus) June 8, 2014

Tiny ruffian of the day. pic.twitter.com/2s1vONfzsI

— Dick King-Smith HQ (@DickKingSmith) December 29, 2019

*More funny posts.

C-3PO wears a crop top; Gary Vader; A jedi named for a hero

we don’t talk about the fact that c3po essentially wears a crop top nearly enough as we should pic.twitter.com/pwbNdyZ3iZ

— Emma Bolden (@emmabo) January 1, 2020

Prototype Star Wars figures by Kenner, based on figures from a Fisher-Price toyline. 1976. These were created for a presentation at 20th Century Fox, I believe. pic.twitter.com/GsYJmqwU5f

— Tales from Weirdland (@WeirdlandTales) December 31, 2019

this banal factoid about darth vader’s name is seriously one of the funniest things i’ve read all year pic.twitter.com/0taGGz2NEr

— Garbage Ape 🗑 🦍 (@GarbageApe) December 31, 2019

Chewbacca disagrees with the First Order's social policies but is a fiscal conservative pic.twitter.com/whSMoLgESC

— David Mann (@DavidMann95) December 28, 2019

This is the only tik tok that matters. And now I’m going to have to watch all the star wars. pic.twitter.com/FUCw6HVlk4

— Emily Yellin (@emilyyuyellz) December 23, 2019

What if, now hear me out, instead of Hux being the spy for idk shock value or whatever, a Stormtrooper had been the one feeding info to the Resistance? And then through Jannah we'd find out there are others who defected after hearing about FN-2187? And instead of it being some

— 🏳️‍🌈 Miranda 🇨🇦 (@An_Absent_Mind) December 31, 2019

Starting a new trilogy, with no new characters named Skywalker, and then making the last one about a person deciding to change their name to Skywalker in order to put "The Skywalker Saga" on the 4k box set is, well, it's a series of choices.

— Brandon Bird (@Brandon_Bird) December 31, 2019

*Buy Star Tours toys at Amazon.

"Due To A Y2K-Like Bug, WWE 2K20 [Was] Almost Unplayable In 2020"

Kotaku:

it sounds like WWE 2K20 is suffering from a Y2k style bug. It seems that the game won’t work properly if it detects the year 2020.

...

2019 wasn’t a great year for WWE 2K20. The game was pummeled by most critics and fans began sharing videos of how terrible some parts of the game looked across social media.

Hey Superstars! We are aware of the issues related to #WWE2K20 crashing and are currently investigating. We are working towards a solution and will update you all when we have more information.

— 2K Support (@2KSupport) January 1, 2020

This issue has been resolved. Please make sure to restart your #WWE2K20 game to automatically download the fix. If you continue experiencing issues, please open a support ticket here: https://t.co/E9ETwypbuw. Thank you again for your patience!

— 2K Support (@2KSupport) January 1, 2020

"Militia supporters chanting ‘Death to America’ break into U.S. Embassy compound in Baghdad"

Fro the WaPo's summary:

The ease with which the demonstrators reached the embassy underscored, however, how little sway the United States now has over the Iraqi government it installed after 2003 and the security forces it trained.

The embassy compound lies inside the Green Zone, which is normally off limits to ordinary people. But thousands walked unimpeded into the zone to participate in the embassy assault. Iraqi security forces mingled with the crowd, and some joined in. One member of the force that guards the zone’s checkpoints was photographed helping militia supporters smash the bulletproof glass at the embassy reception gate.

...

the demonstrators . . . smashed their way into one of the facility’s heavily guarded reception areas, breaking down armored doors and bulletproof glass before setting fire to the room.

...

The demonstrators also smashed security cameras, set two guardrooms ablaze and burned tires. They made a bonfire out of a pile of papers and military MREs (meals ready to eat) found in the reception area, where guards normally search and X-ray visitors.

...

The U.S. diplomats and embassy staffers inside the safe room felt secure, according to two reached by a messaging app. They declined to give details.

...

Among the crowd were some of Iran’s most powerful allies in Iraq

WATCH: Thousands of Iraqi protesters furious over deadly U.S. airstrikes storm the American Embassy in Baghdad, breaking down doors and setting fires https://t.co/zS7HQXjDyF pic.twitter.com/MO3UnaG06q

— CBS News (@CBSNews) December 31, 2019

#Breaking: Just in - Reports that #Hezbollah supporters are burning the back wall outside the #US embassy in #Baghdad's green zone in #Iraq, and are willing to storm inside the building to destroy everything inside. pic.twitter.com/LbFpURqTjX

— Sotiri Dimpinoudis (@sotiridi) December 31, 2019

Kataib Hizbulla militia and PMF protesters and U.S embassy guards are separated by a glass barrier pic.twitter.com/JJyUR7ySee

— Steven nabil (@thestevennabil) December 31, 2019

VIDEO: AH-64 Apaches protect @USEmbBaghdad. 🚁“We have taken appropriate force protection actions to ensure the safety of American citizens...and to ensure our right of self-defense. We are sending additional forces to support our personnel at the Embassy.”~@EsperDoD 🇺🇸🇮🇶 pic.twitter.com/amABHBAOcL

— OIR Spokesman Col. Myles B. Caggins III (@OIRSpox) December 31, 2019

VIDEO: #HappyNewYear! Rapid deployment! Last night, #Marines flew to Baghdad in Ospreys on to protect staff & facilities. 💪🏻💪🏼💪🏾 يا للروعة ...انظروا من الذي حلق مع طيور النعام للعام الجديد ! انهم قوات المشاة البحرية الاميركية في بغداد أتوا لحماية المنشآت والموظفين. أهلا بكم. pic.twitter.com/8yKtZ8d74p

— OIR Spokesman Col. Myles B. Caggins III (@OIRSpox) January 1, 2020

Wild Twitter thread is good viral advertising for American Airlines

Just the first few Tweets in the thread:

I managed to find a cheap hotel room and rented a car for $35. I went out for a nice dinner and met a family who surprised me and paid for my bill (perhaps I should eat alone more often!). I then decided to hit some bars. And this is where my 24 hour mileage run got interesting.

— Andrew Kimmel (@andrewkimmel) December 31, 2019

The bar manager was now threatening me. He grabbed me and brought me to an ATM outside. I refused to take out cash. So he called the police, of which I welcomed. Surely the Mexican police would understand the situation 🤦‍♂️

— Andrew Kimmel (@andrewkimmel) December 31, 2019

The police bring me to a jail somewhere outside of Cabo. I asked if they could at least get my passport back. They laughed and said they’re locking me up for 30 minutes then letting me go. I’m placed in a cell with a guy from the UK who got into a fight.

— Andrew Kimmel (@andrewkimmel) January 1, 2020

Three hours goes by. “Capitan? Capitan?” I shout through the bars. It’s now daytime and my cell mate tells me he’s gotta take a shit, but there’s no toilet paper. There is a blanket covering the window, so I suggest he take it off and use that. And he did.

— Andrew Kimmel (@andrewkimmel) January 1, 2020

And the eventual punchline:

Reaching Executive Platinum status isn't easy. For those who make it, the benefits are amazing! We're happy you'll make your goal!

— American Airlines (@AmericanAir) December 31, 2019

Ten funny tweets

look how mad this dolphin is pic.twitter.com/vWSAxEPx8G

— emi gennis (@imemi) December 29, 2019

this is how bjork texts mfs pic.twitter.com/BQCRjXEmaE

— troy (@boy___troy) December 28, 2019

1055. pic.twitter.com/5EoXzF6HNH

— Sword lesbian. (@TMSTSTFD) December 20, 2019

Jameis Winston’s first pass under his rookie contract with the Bucs was a pick-six.

Jameis Winston’s last pass under his rookie contract with the Bucs was a pick-six.

— Bill Barnwell (@billbarnwell) December 29, 2019

my classmate teaching me math 5 minutes before the exam https://t.co/L3RRW5cMdL

— zell (@ruzelllabios) December 28, 2019

Not only do I have a favourite frying pan, I also have a least favourite frying pan, which I consider my nemesis

— mindflakes (@mindflakes) December 28, 2019

One of the greatest privileges of my life was that I was on shift on BBC World that day - this was our show. Behind the scenes were were all screaming at our monitors, blind with tears of laughter, completely incapable of saying or doing anything for a full ten minutes. https://t.co/WDPFnYkEJx

— Julia Macfarlane (@juliamacfarlane) December 29, 2019

Ever alert and aware of their surroundings. pic.twitter.com/GiqTQ8WSok

— jamie (@gnuman1979) December 30, 2019

it’s 3 am and i can’t stop watching this video of this nervous cat pic.twitter.com/hFIdqxK051

— Kennedy Walsh (@_kennedywalsh) December 29, 2019

cat's a master of physical comedy pic.twitter.com/8SJ9vqHSSy

— elle (@notfunnyelle) December 25, 2019

*More funny posts.

Adam Driver looks like Han in the Holiday Special cartoon

I still think Adam Driver was cast for looking like Han in the Holiday Special cartoon. pic.twitter.com/uuRZSeA8pe

— Vᴇʀɴ (@outlawvern) December 30, 2019

Also:

The purpose was the theme park doesn't have rights to Adam Driver's face and they needed Kylo Ren in the ride which is set post-TLJ because Snoke is too tall to be made from reskinned animatronics from the recently-closed Great Movie Ride https://t.co/Xr8t8XOetK

— Jenny Nicholson (don't talk to me about star wars) (@JennyENicholson) December 27, 2019