Chester and Harold in real life, off to investigate a mystery

@lindzaceto I have so many questions 🤔 #cat #dog #pets ♬ Stealthy mischief(1088178) - KBYS

Today's funny posts

Got some little windmills to try to dissuade Ruby and the neighbourhood cats from eating our veg. Not gone down well.@rhubarbfourpaws pic.twitter.com/A9FfP2DaVc

— Samuel Pollen (@samuel_pollen) April 18, 2020

DOROTHY: oh no my house killed someone!

GLINDA: it's ok, she sucked

DOROTHY: who are you

GLINDA: i'm a good witch

DOROTHY: ...are you sure

GLINDA: yep. now let's steal that dead bitch's shoes

— Jill la Jill (@JillianKarger) April 17, 2020

"Pizza Hut used to be a fairly nice sit down restaurant" is my generations version of "this all used to be farmland as far as the eye can see."

— Joseph Christ (@TheJosephChrist) April 14, 2020

There is one thing in life that all our skills and work align us towards, as the greatest ever in human history.
For me, that’s naming books.

Give me your book idea and I’ll tell you the name.

— SwiftOnSecurity (@SwiftOnSecurity) April 18, 2020

Thief of Whispers

— SwiftOnSecurity (@SwiftOnSecurity) April 18, 2020

Part of being GenX is that you don't have photographs from when you were aged 20.

— OK Zoomer (@monkchips) April 16, 2020

I love all the messages to Mikayla Pivek making the picture vibrate on the phone she is using for video pic.twitter.com/RRJn6jXZ6U

— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) April 18, 2020

“When should we open up America and get back to work?”

Debated by the only two opinions that matter:

CATS and DOGS

For @WSJ:https://t.co/QcI0BDyouz pic.twitter.com/8aLchPhTtJ

— Jason Gay (@jasongay) April 18, 2020

A balloon drop to celebrate today’s #WhatDayIsIt pic.twitter.com/RXCymqzRhF

— Todd Meany (@toddmeany) April 17, 2020

i’ve watched this at least a dozen times and it just keeps getting funnier pic.twitter.com/HcvcTDKkXG

— Sam Corbin (@ahoysamantha) April 17, 2020

2 years ago today when my brother got a job for turbo tax in 7th grade 😂 pic.twitter.com/EiaL81fYf0

— p (@paydaybryse) April 16, 2020

*More funny posts.

"In virus-stricken Wuhan, animal lovers break into homes to save pets"

Reuters:

Wuhan, where the virus is believed to have first surfaced late last year, has been in a lockdown since Jan. 23, just as tens of millions of people across China started to leave for their Lunar New Year holidays.

Wuhan’s mayor told a recent news conference that 5 million people had left the city ahead of the festive season.

Up to 50,000 pets had been left alone at home in Wuhan, Lao Mao estimated, based on the number of people who left the city in Hubei province.

“The volunteers on our team, me included, have saved more than 1,000 pets since Jan. 25,” said Lao Mao, declining to disclose his real name because he did not want his family to know he was out and about in the city.

“My phone never stops ringing these days. I barely sleep.”

Without intervention, the pets will starve to death. Many owners, either in quarantine or stranded in other provinces and countries, have sought help from animal lovers like Lao Mao on social media.

People don't like to adopt black dogs so they're discounted this weekend in Los Angeles

All @LACityPets are offering reduced adoption fees on primarily black animals. Black animals are often overlooked because they’re stereotyped as aggressive. Couldn’t be further from the truth. https://t.co/Os1kd9etKP

— Alanna Rizzo (@alannarizzo) September 21, 2019

Here's the Wikipedia page on "Black dog syndrome":

The proposed phenomenon may be due to a number of factors. Research has identified geographic location, fear stigma against certain breed types, and the fact that large, black dogs are often portrayed as aggressive in film and on television as possible correlates. Initial research at one location identified a longer period experienced by black dogs before adoption, but subsequent studies considered to be more robust (as conducted in a larger number of geographically spread shelters) has shown that when shelter visitors video-recorded their walk through the adoption area, they spent equal amounts of time looking at every dog, regardless of coat color. Other studies have suggested brindle dogs may be more likely to experience longer delays before adoption than black dogs. Coat color bias seems evident, but may change depending on geographic location.

Some people believe that during the pet adoption process some potential owners associate the color black with evil or misfortune (similar to the common superstition surrounding black cats), and this bias transfers over to their choice of dog. Additionally, many shelters feature photo profiles of their dogs on the shelter website. Because black dogs do not photograph well, lighter-colored dogs have an advantage with potential adopters browsing the site. A study done by the Los Angeles Animal Services challenges some of these claims, saying that a full 28% of adopted dogs are black. However, the bias theory simply asserts that predominantly dark animals take longer to be adopted than their lighter counterparts, and that large dogs take longer to adopt than small ones.

However, appearance in general does play a role in potential adopters' selection of shelter dogs. In a 2011 study by the ASPCA, appearance was the most frequently cited reason for adopters of both puppies (29 percent) and adult dogs (26 percent).

Ten funny tweets

Don't be part of the problem, be the whole problem

— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) March 15, 2015

Follow @ wampusgod on insta pic.twitter.com/ZPijianUkP

— Tyler Warren (@cTylerw_) July 24, 2018

i love this stupid fucking gif pic.twitter.com/ob5sX6Dyh3

— xXPu$$yD3stroy3r420Xx (@BeastsEmbrace) July 25, 2018

I will never delete the Jeremy Renner app from my phone pic.twitter.com/VKStCAbTDt

— stevie palmer (@chillarybuff) July 27, 2018

Hi, @hallmarkmovie: You actually dropped a commercial break in the middle of Columbo's final summation scene. Go to hell.

— Michael McKean (@MJMcKean) July 26, 2018

pic.twitter.com/tSW91ogCJ0

— Dan Sheehan (@ItsDanSheehan) July 26, 2018

Some guys from the dark web are here TPing my house

— Böb Mako Shark Jänke (@Bob_Janke) July 27, 2018

After a long day, settling down with man’s best friend is a great way to relax 😅
(Wait for it)
pic.twitter.com/Sc9RoKcYT9

— Qasim Rashid, Esq. (@MuslimIQ) July 27, 2018

We went to the planetarium today and when the voiceover said “this is the earth” one of the kids booed

— Abolish ICE (@a_lolbrarian) January 14, 2018

Episode IX

EXT. AHCH-TO
Rey arrives at the cliff to find a cloak. Behind her, a familiar ghost appears.

LUKE: "Rey..."
REY: "Luke, you DIDN'T DIE!"
LUKE: "No, I'm dead. 100%. Just wanted to say that your parents were nobodies. Can't stress that enough."

Luke disappears.

— Matt Patches (@misterpatches) July 27, 2018

Russian soldiers guard the remnants of Trump’s Hollywood Walk of Fame Star, which was destroyed earlier this week. +1 for political street theater. (ht Michael Madill) pic.twitter.com/wexe64lx0Q

— TimKarr (@TimKarr) July 27, 2018

Ten funny tweets

When I got my wisdom teeth out apparently as I came to I got up and insisted on walking door to door and telling all the other patients that they do great work here and that they’re in for a pleasant surprise. And they just let me do it.

— brans💋n reese (@bransonreese) June 30, 2018

my dog got in the flour pic.twitter.com/tYiXXXoB7V

— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) June 29, 2018

Nothing but respect for people who are brave enough to sleep on top of their duvet in warm weather because I’d rather roast to death under mine than expose myself to potential demons

— rachel louise 💐✨ (@kyvbey) June 26, 2018

I've spent most of this day thinking about this Bird dance. pic.twitter.com/vJjp9Zcvux

— Squirrel™ 🐿 (@WebSquirrel) May 25, 2018

“Amazon Headquarters” should be one of the disasters you can pick in the next SimCity

— Clifford Vickrey (@cliffordvickrey) June 28, 2018

Russian safari pic.twitter.com/tvluEUmlTJ

— English Russia (@EnglishRussia1) June 29, 2018

Airbus are painting their new Beluga Transporters like Whales, and they are awesome pic.twitter.com/S0jMTdFa9L

— Craig McPheat (@CraigMcPheat) June 28, 2018

When I was reserving my hotel, I The “additional accommodations” box I asked for a photo of Michael Jordan with a obviously fake autograph. This is what I came back to. @Kimpton? This is everything. pic.twitter.com/fZgfwE3ye3

— Dottie L. Guy (@ohdottie) June 29, 2018

One of these contains wintergreen mints and is 𝕮𝖚𝖗𝖘𝖊𝖉. The other contains peppermint mints and is 𝓑𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓮𝓭. pic.twitter.com/YN9Yvm1beY

— Harrison G. Pink (@GilesPink) June 29, 2018

Folks pic.twitter.com/YFnKuQzmTy

— Christian McCrea (@christianmccrea) June 30, 2018

I’m dying. pic.twitter.com/gBOtuyAmKg

— Jules Suzdaltsev (@jules_su) June 28, 2018

Cat in a backpack that looks like a space capsule

There was a lady on the tube with a REAL LIVE CAT in a SPACE AGE BACKPACK you guys. I have rarely been so impressed pic.twitter.com/U7F7xduixu

— Alex von Tunzelmann (@alexvtunzelmann) February 23, 2018

Olivia the pet elk

This man has a very big cat. https://t.co/dchxvkS3Su pic.twitter.com/NChajlTx5j

— Fiona Lang (@fiona_lang) February 19, 2018

"'she's like a ballet dancer. She goes around very carefully. She comes and says hello for 15 minutes and then she goes back out to the others.'"

Pet greyhounds on a snow day

Desperate times. Had to shovel a formula 1 track through the back yard for the greyhounds. pic.twitter.com/51N9iZ5xQl

— Jay Moschella (@Jay_Moschella) January 5, 2018

Also:

Temporarily stacked up the dog beds while cleaning the other day and now they refuse to sleep on anything less than three mattresses deep pic.twitter.com/UUJHjrMP0G

— Jay Moschella (@Jay_Moschella) November 6, 2017

"How Celebrity Pets Became Big Business"

P:

“People are much lonelier than they used to be,” says Gray. “So what do they do? They get a pet, or if they can’t, maybe because of their landlord, they spend all their time on YouTube looking at other people’s pets acting human.”

Indeed, celebrity animals are like an “electronic pet,” says Susan Nance, a history professor at the University of Guelph in Canada’s Ontario province. Tamagotchi for the digital age – with even fewer responsibilities.

“It's a collective delusion or group fiction that we all create together to imagine that this animal exists out there somewhere and that he somehow knows he's famous, and that he likes the attention,” says Nance.

Vet allegedly told family their dog was dead, kept dog in cage and harvested its blood

Washington Post:

A 5-year-old Leonberger named Sid is alive – news to his family, which was told the dog had been put down because of a congenital spinal defect. Turns out, his veterinarian allegedly caged him for six months in the back of a Texas animal clinic where the dog was being bled for plasma, according to a complaint the family filed with the state.

Video of a corgi enjoying being vacuumed

Video of a corgi enjoying being vacuumed. Via these sites.

2 days without an accident

Anything to make housebreaking a little more fun.

Advice if you have a parrot

"If you have a parrot and you don't teach it to say,'Help, they've turned me into a parrot', you are wasting everybody's time."

Turducken Cat Food

Turducken Cat Food

Fish in Spaaaaace Aquarium

Buy.