Internet Escape Pod:
Cyber Monday is fast approaching, which means you are about to be bombarded with a hailstorm of coupons, BOGOs, hot dealz, and brand advertising. Find sanctuary for yourself and your loved ones under Colonel Sanders and his Internet Escape Pod. Yup, this dome is like a magic force field designed to disrupt the internet coming to and from your devices. We were going to sell this for the ridiculously high price of $96,485.34, but in the spirit of Cyber Monday it can be yours for $10,000. So this Cyber Monday (or really anytime you want; I mean you bought it, so it's up to you), let Colonel Sanders' protective embrace take you back to a simpler time.
In case you haven't noticed, our specialty is fried chicken, not internet-blocking cages. Although we have done our best to ensure total internet escape, a special person with a gizmo has to test our cage before we can claim total and utter signal impenetrability. Upon installation, every effort will be taken to ensure it fully blocks your device. You have the Colonel's word.