My friend is going on a 1st date tonight with a girl he's been talking to on Tinder. They're going to park next to each other at McDonald's and talk with the windows cracked while eating their own individual orders of fries. How's that for romance and longing, JANE AUSTEN?— dave horwitz (@Dave_Horwitz) March 25, 2020
this morning in bed, I rolled over, turned to my wife, and whispered in her ear, "There's a FreshDirect slot open next Tuesday"— Sam Adams (@SamuelAAdams) March 25, 2020
To TP someone's house right now is a sign of ultimate respect. pic.twitter.com/2IVb8q34xu— Jared Butler (@realjaredbutler) March 25, 2020