Wife: This seems like the kind of thing you would like.
— Mulboyne (@Mulboyne) November 30, 2020
Me: You're not wrong. pic.twitter.com/1veOGmUflx
a tenner says the next place the monolith shows up is the Neiman Marcus 2020 Holiday Catalog
— foster kamer. (@weareyourfek) November 30, 2020
I may have done a lot of embarrassing things in my life, but my older sister actually once found a cabbage patch kids birth certificate in my moms filing cabinet, started screaming at and accusing our mom of hiding our “brother” Clyde Fabian from us, and she was like 15
— chloë (@chloeevansj) December 1, 2020
the person delivering my food seems incredible pic.twitter.com/Zbfz8bA7yL
— ken "jerge" dra (@kendraquartz) November 29, 2020
Trump will pardon Joe Exotic because he needs contestants for the next season of The Celebrity Apprentice.
— Blake Hammond (@BigRadMachine) December 2, 2020
Shawn Kemp was a rookie in 1989 when Larry Bird dropped 40 points on him. Here’s how Kemp remembers that game and Bird’s nonstop trash-talking, via the Knuckleheads podcast pic.twitter.com/quDr6T1v5k
— Stefan Bondy (@SBondyNYDN) December 2, 2020
Where did Abraham Linguine give his famous address?
— Frank Lantz (@flantz) November 30, 2020
30 under 30 who have successfully wrecked a startup with their hotness
— mx claws (@alicegoldfuss) December 1, 2020
We sometimes don’t give ourselves enough credit as a society when we work together for the collective good.
— Seamus Hughes (@SeamusHughes) November 30, 2020
This is all to say, thanks to everyone for not making fleets a thing.
I can't believe I forgot to tell yall the best part. While we were outside with some neighbors watching the pigs make their way down our street, one of their toddlers pointed at the pigs and said "oh! puppies" https://t.co/5AX0f9KDLd
— Just the Zoo of Us 🐘🐊🐌 (@JusttheZooofUs) November 30, 2020
— Perfectly Cut Screams (@AAAAAGGHHHH) December 2, 2020
*More funny posts.