Wednesday, March 13, 2019

"Throughout my test of the InMotion HovershoesX1, which I am contractually obligated to mail back to InMotion at my own expense after finishing this article, I nearly injured myself in several very exciting ways"

Outline:

As soon as you turn them on, their wheels snap to attention, the platforms upon which your feet rest waiting eerily parallel to the ground. They’re controlled by subtle shifts in your body’s center of gravity, meaning that in order to not lose control of your hover shoes you have to stand extremely still. The whole point of stepping onto something, unfortunately, involves drastically shifting your body’s weight, meaning that the first time I tried to use the hover shoes I got one foot on before sending it skittering off like it was a nervous horse, its unmanned ride concluding when it hit a wall.

...

also, the ceiling fan in my bedroom is kind of low and with the extra five inches the hover shoes give me I