Today's news and jokes

Iron Mountain is way cooler than I thought. Why isn't this in their marketing? I thought it was a suburban warehouse in Pheonix. It's actually in an IRON MOUNTAIN. pic.twitter.com/etlBmN2qln

— Butters (@chimpvc) February 12, 2025

USA Today's write-up

This country runs on mole people cycling around under the earth on tricycles and you’re blackpilling 🤨 https://t.co/Zr2farnqoE

— Detty (@0ddette) February 12, 2025

Wikipedia rolling out anonymity features piloted in countries with authoritarian governments in the US & is making a change to not show editor IP addresses in response to a global "increase in threats" from Elon Musk, Heritage Foundation, and governmentshttps://t.co/iquHNz5oGn

— Jason Koebler (@jason_koebler) February 11, 2025

https://t.co/iqu20arKk4

— Daniel Boguslaw (@DRBoguslaw) February 12, 2025

("In the past two months alone, 82-year-old Rep. Kay Granger (R-TX) was discovered to be living in an assisted-living facility with a dementia ward in her final months in office; 74-year-old Rep. Gerry Connolly (D-VA) won a high-profile leadership position on the House Oversight Committee after revealing he is battling highly terminal esophageal cancer; 82-year-old Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) fell twice on Capitol Hill just months after blacking out during a press conference; 84-year-old former Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) fell and broke her hip in Luxembourg; and 76-year-old Rep. John Larson (D-CT) appeared to suffer a stroke on the House floor. (Larson’s staff has said it was a bad reaction to a new medication.)")

Pope Francis has appointed pro-migrant bishop, Edward Weisenburger, as Archbishop of Detroit.

The bishop has in the past suggested "canonical penalties" to be imposed on Catholics involved in separating children from their families at the US-Mexico border. pic.twitter.com/NOEV6JWJAL

— Christopher Lamb (@ctrlamb) February 11, 2025

("In recent years, Weisenburger has become a leading voice calling for the U.S. hierarchy to respond to the climate crisis.")

USAID employee outlines their escape with their family from the Congo as Trump admin dismantles USAID structure in DC pic.twitter.com/4DzUCI2Kd8

— Robbie Gramer (@RobbieGramer) February 12, 2025

CNN's write-up

1/In the US, Elon Musk says he champions free speech. In China, his car company, Tesla, is silencing criticism - with the backing of the state.

Tesla China sued car owners, outlets and bloggers pointing out safety issues - and has won almost every case.https://t.co/xIiZhW75Go

— Dake Kang (@dakekang) February 12, 2025

in Congress today, @RepCasten joked about "fecal coins." (You can't say "shitcoins" in Congress.)

Somone already made an actual crypto called fecal coin. It pumped and dumped. $6mln of it traded. pic.twitter.com/ORLIQaLtDx

— Zeke Faux (@ZekeFaux) February 12, 2025

An actual ad on Right Side Broadcasting after they wrapped the briefing:

"You need this knife for your MAGA office or your MAGA mancave, as I am composing myself... The stuff is going out like hotcakes. Get that Trump combat knife. I've got a couple Trump knives myself." pic.twitter.com/pk5N4cfDbD

— Jake Lahut (@JakeLahut) February 12, 2025

A monkey has been blamed for causing a nationwide blackout in Sri Lanka.

🔗 Read more
https://t.co/sNfSIITFA0

— Sky News (@SkyNews) February 10, 2025

Here's the story: https://t.co/bS3Wa5xpBJ

— Molly Hensley-Clancy (@mollyhc) February 12, 2025

(projected first-round pick)

This is wild: Juan Soto’s contract guarantees him more than 22 teams in baseball combined have spent on free agents this winter. Read more at ESPN+: https://t.co/JL1fjPXqm8 pic.twitter.com/10fe1YgcCa

— Jeff Passan (@JeffPassan) February 11, 2025

Bronny James outscored Paul George tonight. pic.twitter.com/9YGCEa8tnB

— Real Sports (@realapp_) February 13, 2025

I’m holding two extremes of density — a tungsten cube sitting on aerogel pic.twitter.com/WJrogT3Vkq

— Andy Kong (@oldestasian) January 11, 2025

Deadass thought this was a Ryan Gosling Black Panther action figure for a sec pic.twitter.com/7JkPAkQ2UN

— Schaffrillas (@Schaffrillas) January 12, 2025

Good morning, Chicago and especially to whoever built this guy ❤️ pic.twitter.com/kGPf7OEOVX

— Heidi Stevens (@HeidiStevens13) January 12, 2025

just got into basketball, YAO MING IS A REAL PERSON????????????

— ari! 🔜 dreamcon (@arriversary) January 11, 2025

@pizzalynda #disneyland #californiaadventure #disneyadult #disneytok #disneyfyp #smallworld ♬ original sound - Lynda

@luispescasuboficial ele me abraçou #luisreidomar #pescador #viral #pescaria #viraliza #melhorvideo ♬ som original - Luis o FERA

*More funny posts.