Today's news and jokes

There’s a fan here at Cowboys training camp walking past the stands constantly in an Eagles shirt. He’s getting booed every time.

The twist: the back of his shirt says “I suck at fantasy football.”

What a punishment 😂 pic.twitter.com/RMjfLprUGc

— Joseph Hoyt (@JoeJHoyt) July 26, 2025

I appreciate the concern, but per https://t.co/XxanRXfseE, Hawaii's tsunami warning was canceled post-buoy data review on July 29, with no active alerts. Alaska's remains for some coasts. Facts verified—happy to discuss sources. Stay safe!

— Grok (@grok) July 30, 2025

Also it's just so funny that there is all this outrage over a private road that STARTS at 50m elevation when the waves aren't going to reach 5% of that.

Being stuck at the locked gate would be exactly equally as safe as making it to the top of the mountain.

— Nathan Ruser (@Nrg8000) July 30, 2025

(A write-up)

STATE OF LOCAL EMERGENCY DECLARED: St. Paul mayor says City Hall faces an “ongoing and dynamic threat” from cyber attackers and has shut down Internet systems and called in national cybersecurity experts to help. Gov. Walz has mobilized National Guard cybersecurity experts. Data… https://t.co/gRFE6UEPV5 pic.twitter.com/i2Dr1tkbrh

— Frederick Melo, Reporter/Axolotl (@FrederickMelo) July 29, 2025

A write-up

The "EXTREME HEAT" warning is just too perfect for this story

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— Parker Molloy (@parkermolloy.com) July 29, 2025 at 12:52 PM

Thomas Kinkade's family (!) sent DHS a cease-and-desist letter www.washingtonpost.com/immigration/...

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— Jonathan L. Fischer (@jonfischer.bsky.social) July 29, 2025 at 11:55 AM

("we were deeply troubled to see this image used to promote division and xenophobia associated with the ideals of DHS, as this is antithetical to our mission")

Pedro Pascal spoke up for trans rights and has been targeted with a smear campaign as a result. False allegations lobbed by TERFs have since become a meme and entered the YouTube podcast sphere—not unlike the previous anti-MeToo smear campaigns I’ve covered. spitfirenews.com/p/pedro-pasc...

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— Kat Tenbarge (@kattenbarge.bsky.social) July 29, 2025 at 10:37 AM

I am kinda fascinated by the emerging joint deployment of “Mamdani would take away the NYPD’s ability to effectively deal with shootings like the one that happened on Monday” and “It’s impossible to prevent shootings like the one that happened on Monday”, sometimes on the same page of the newspaper.

— Kieran Healy (@kjhealy.co) July 30, 2025 at 6:13 AM

N.Y.C. Mass Shooting Was Nearly Impossible to Prevent, Experts Say https://t.co/AsC5jNjiwl via @NYTimes

— Catherine Lucey (@catherine_lucey) July 29, 2025

One fascinating thing about the most self-serious newspaper in America with its staff of the winning journalistic meritocrats is that it routinely, institutionally publishes completely made-up bullshit speculation about pure abstractions, based on zero reporting, written as if it were plain facts

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— Tom Scocca (@tomscocca.bsky.social) July 29, 2025 at 12:23 PM

NY Times, and not in the opinion section. Here's the link if you want to remember the writers' names.

Pretty huge news that so far has been going under the radar:

Uber has initiated RICO lawsuits against a number of Personal Injury attorneys around the country, including @JacobEmrani in LA pic.twitter.com/1DgyrDoeyx

— Joe Cohen (@CohenSite) July 27, 2025

(A write-up)(Inescapable ads in LA.)

"More bicyclists reported being hurt after riding into string drawn at neck- and head-level across the Marine Parkway Bridge pedestrian path this week," reported Gothamist on Friday. buff.ly/H4EIRHs

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— Streetsblog NYC (@nyc.streetsblog.org) July 28, 2025 at 5:32 AM

(String lined with glass)

The former manager of a Walgreens in the District’s Chinatown neighborhood has been sentenced to more than 12 years in prison for his role in a series of armed robberies that set the city on edge. https://t.co/3pv20zyDFB

— Post Local (@postlocal) July 25, 2025

(A write-up)

Las Vegas prosecutors are claiming Marcus Morris stole over $250,000 from two prominent Las Vegas casinos. pic.twitter.com/qW8yUcTijO

— TMZ Sports (@TMZ_Sports) July 29, 2025

(Didn't find a particularly coherent write-up)

DJI won't confirm or deny that it is selling its drones in the United States under a different brand. DJI has faced significant challenges getting its products into the U.S.https://t.co/OxagYCnBIH

— PetaPixel (@petapixel) July 28, 2025

Getting my arms around a story this big and mercurial hasn’t been easy. I’m really grateful to Gil Tov-Ly and @radiatoryang.bsky.social for expanding my knowledge, and hope the result helps clarify a situation that’s been scary for a lot of creators and fans. www.gamesindustry.biz/whats-going-...

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— Jeremy Peel (@jeremypeel.bsky.social) July 29, 2025 at 11:41 AM

("Itch.io are seeking out new payment processors")

We sure do!

Briefly: when done by the government, such pressure is obviously a First Amendment problem. Private pressure doesn't raise a First Amendment issue, but while payment processors have a right to not associate with particular content, the chokepoint that payment… pic.twitter.com/RMimRI5pPq

— Ari Cohn (@AriCohn) July 29, 2025

Nearly 600 Duke staff will leave the University through the voluntary separation incentive program rolled out at the start of summer, administrators confirmed in a Friday email. Involuntary layoffs will begin in August:https://t.co/JKHwF0x0Zw

— The Chronicle (@DukeChronicle) July 25, 2025

"Sony sues Tencent for allegedly ripping off 'Horizon' video games" Well alright but surely it can't be that blata— lmao

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— Jason Schreier (@jasonschreier.bsky.social) July 28, 2025 at 10:14 AM

(A write-up)

I think for a lot of adults, conspiracies and secret societies hold the same appeal that Hogwarts holds for small children.

— GNMKII (@gnmkii.bsky.social) June 6, 2025 at 6:03 PM

people wonder what europe’s role will be in a tech driven economy and you can see an opening for “launder tech bullshit through more acceptable design” pic.twitter.com/ciBLQPt9xP

— csz (@cszabla) June 7, 2025

Perfect three act structure pic.twitter.com/Ycu2GboDn8

— John Frankensteiner (@JFrankensteiner) June 5, 2025

name a white woman challenge featuring crisis city

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— Robin Charm Password (@rondoofblood.bsky.social) June 7, 2025 at 8:50 AM

@djm17580 Luna really wants Leo to learn to use the dog door 😆 #catsoftiktok #fyp #wgsd #besties ♬ Literally Meow - Trendify

*More funny posts.