Tuesday, March 31, 2026

Today's news and jokes







Four-byline alert: 🚨 “.. A broker for Pete Hegseth, the US defence secretary, attempted to make a big investment in major defence companies in the weeks leading up to the US-Israeli attack on Iran, according to three people familiar with the matter.” www.ft.com/content/744e...

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— Carl Quintanilla (@carlquintanilla.bsky.social) March 30, 2026 at 3:38 PM




My "We don't allow bets on assassinations and murder" ad campaign has people asking a lot of questions already answered by the ad campaign

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— David Dayen (@ddayen.bsky.social) March 30, 2026 at 1:41 PM








(Israel’s national doctors’ union has refused to carry out lethal injections, so those convicted will face death by hanging. Some right-wing Israeli lawmakers enthusiastically adopted the noose as a symbol of their support for the law, wearing golden noose-shaped pins on their lapels in the Knesset.)







("Bianco previously pointed out that his department received warrants “approved and signed by a judge” to seize the election materials. The warrants remain under seal, though the attorney general said he has reviewed them.")







(“I got all fire and brimstone a few days ago and I think some good words were shared, but I also think as of right now it’s a little emotional in there and there are a lot of try-hards. … Maybe it stems from that conversation prior to the season or maybe it stems from all the Opening Day fanfare, being the home team, but regardless, everybody wants it to change.”)







"Caitlin Clark said earlier that you're her favorite player to watch in the NBA, just curious what your familiarity is with her, if you've kinda kept up with her-" Jokic: "We have the same agent, that's why she said that"

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— CJ Fogler (@cjzero.bsky.social) March 30, 2026 at 10:52 AM








Munetaka Murakami working to become the first player to hit more home runs than his team has wins

— Definitely the real White Sox (@whitesox.bsky.social) March 29, 2026 at 2:22 PM


















The difference between cucumbers and pickles is jarring.

— Siege (@tellumsiege.bsky.social) May 29, 2025 at 1:11 PM
















@casegrayy

It’s the step ladder for me

♬ mario sound - mandycap








@bibigunk He’s so funny because WHY lmao 🤣 #halo #masterchief #bf ♬ Halo original game song - Dungeons_n_Starships








@johnsharpson Not gonna lie it was tough getting him home! 😂🙌🏼 #foryoupage #funnypuppy #irish #school ♬ Lil Boo Thang - Paul Russell




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