— Roll The Garbage (@AgentTinsley) July 17, 2018
My Apple watch congratulating me for standing up is by far the deepest insult delivered to me by tech industry on a daily basis— Tom Gara (@tomgara) July 16, 2018
GENIE: I don’t—I’m sorry I’m just not getting this.— Tig Notaro (@TigNotaro) July 13, 2018
ME: *In bed* Look, it’s not complicated: I still want to feel the WEIGHT OF THE BLANKET, but I’m already hot.
I just found out about the New Coke protests in the 80’s, CocaCola changed their recipe and mother fuckers took to the streets. But look at the Drama of this POSTER pic.twitter.com/0xf88R6wzm— 𝖊𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖎𝖈 𝖋𝖎𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 𝖆𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗 (@urvillageidiot) July 13, 2018
Life Goals: To one day, be even half as happy as Brian is with his new haircut. pic.twitter.com/p9eWrZtwg0— Paul Bronks (@BoringEnormous) July 17, 2018
Yesterday, my coworker very casually mentioned that as a raft guide, he used carrier pigeons to send SD cards back to the shop so the guest photos would be printed on time. I still haven’t figured out how to process this in my mind.— Andrew Emerton (@andwoo) June 15, 2018
YOU GUYS, I finally got DMd by a romance scammer!! This is how you do it, right? pic.twitter.com/953y1H03c3— Craig Silverman (@CraigSilverman) July 18, 2018
Pray my best friend comes out of this pic.twitter.com/FB1qSx3aKs— schmox (@IvoryGazelle) July 17, 2018
25ft half naked Jeff Goldblum appears in front of Tower Bridge https://t.co/1gB5iZnl1J pic.twitter.com/9RkXi7x9Sk— Londonist (@Londonist) July 18, 2018
Got to experience love at first sight🦒 pic.twitter.com/Yvi4rZOUQq— G$ (@Pimpmama_G) July 15, 2018