My 9 y.o cousin was jumping too hard up and down on the deck so he got a splinter and I shook my head and said "punished for your hubris" then later an aunty asked how he got the splinter and he said really mournfully "my hubris"...— A 🛋️ (@vosshead) July 3, 2018
Look at this Long Cat pic.twitter.com/5fuLGI3z40— Chloe (@stewy_art) July 6, 2018
Sometimes after I kill a bug I wonder if it had a family. Then I wonder if the family is nearby and if I’ll need to kill them too.— Kevin Martel (@Ksmarts) June 15, 2018
July 6, 2018
ONCE AGAIN I HAVE BEEN SABOTAGED IN MY CURRENT TASK BY MY GREATEST NEMESIS: PAST CHRISTINE— Christine Love (@christinelove) July 5, 2018
July 6, 2018
paranormal investigator: this entity feels malicious. I'm sensing a lot of bad energy— gracie hoos (@cottoncandaddy) July 5, 2018
ghost: [through ouija board] h a h a
d u d e y o u r j e a n s s u c k
investigator: *choking back tears* wow it's really bad you guys
ghost: a r e t h o s e f u c k i n g
b o o t c u t
July 5, 2018
GUYS.— Rachel Harper (@Rachel__Harper) June 24, 2018
For the past two years the ticket man at my station has baffled me. Some days we get on like a house on fire, chatting about life. Other days he won’t even return a hello...turns out to be a pair of identical twins who both work there.
TWO SEPERATE MEN.
TWO YEARS GUYS.
The secret to getting off of calls you don't want to be on is to hang up in the middle of your own sentence. Only a maniac would hang up on themselves, so you must have gotten disconnected.— Corey Quinn (@QuinnyPig) June 27, 2018