told a group of teens that when I was their age we had to pay 10 cents per text message and now they think I’m a liar— Jonathan (@jnthnwll) February 28, 2020
This is what the NBA looked like when the Celtics won most of their titles pic.twitter.com/GrSDwDiFwS— Daman Rangoola (@damanr) February 28, 2020
how tf does chris matthews still have a job pic.twitter.com/nuoRJDSPOo— storm the bastille (@GinaLuciana) February 29, 2020
I never regret the decision to dip into a “Days of Our Lives” episode. The payoff at the end! pic.twitter.com/K7k3KjpJ9o— Joe Reid (@joereid) February 28, 2020
Told the guy I’m hooking up with that one of my tweets was posted on a Instagram meme page and he said he’s gonna tell all his friends he’s hooking up with a celeb and finally a man recognizes my worth— jules (@JulianneRoller) February 28, 2020
A swan escaping from the waterworks and being walked back down the Antrim Rd by 2 policemen is the content I want to see on a Friday. pic.twitter.com/DYs1RFDiGu— Aidan Torbitt (@AidanTorbitt) February 28, 2020
If your name is Maggie, you attend NC State University, and you’re grandparents come to chickfila in mount airy, you should know that they adore you and they were telling me how proud they are of you. They told me you made the Dean’s List, good job girl.— Rachel Curry (@RachelCurry2000) February 27, 2020
Twitter do your thing
To be fair to Candyman, someone saying your name five times is really fucking annoying.— Mat Johnson (@mat_johnson) February 27, 2020
My dork of a husband just realized that my cherished movie, “E.T.” is actually entitled “E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial,” and that “E.T.” stands for “extra terrestrial,” so now it is always called “Extra Terrestrial: the Extra Terrestrial” in our home... and I’m kinda okay with it.— Andi Gutierrez (@DeeGoots) February 28, 2020
Puppy joins the kitty on lookout duty.— Gaml. Y (@GY18164253) February 27, 2020
https/imgur.com/gallery/Nwv65rC pic.twitter.com/a3uw2YK7av
*More funny posts.