SEAN GUNN PLAYING AS ROCKET I CANT ALSKSKSJSJpic.twitter.com/QiYwKw5Ira— natasha ☾ (@midtown_spidey) July 30, 2019
"My mom has a podcast ... It's called voicemails that are two minutes long." -overheard in LA— Jarett Wieselman (@JarettSays) August 5, 2019
There’s a sword of Damocles hanging over the stage, I assume it falls if we’re not funny pic.twitter.com/02n0HSvApU— Max Temkin (@MaxTemkin) August 2, 2019
imagine being the first peter who "petered out"— Casey Johnston (@caseyjohnston) August 2, 2019
me, twice a year: “i’ll never fly spirit again.”— Peter Scattini (@jpscattini) July 31, 2019
me, this morning, after deciding i’d rather save 12 dollars: pic.twitter.com/ASqk3bb89j
Getting some absolutely superb ads on Instagram at the moment pic.twitter.com/NiFZlgetTJ— Ewan McGregor (@EwaSR) August 1, 2019
Darryl, Socrates' friend https://t.co/ThckQU44oi— 𝔐𝔞𝔤𝔫𝔢𝔱𝔰 🧲 (@PerthshireMags) July 31, 2019
I’m at a fancy beach on the Egyptian Mediterranean and “No niqab or topless” is a very specific brand of moderate social policy pic.twitter.com/pQLo9bwxeU— Tom Gara (@tomgara) August 4, 2019
patroclus: "ladies and gentlemen" is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy and honestly i'm already falling asleep— incorrect patrochilles quotes (@wrongptrchlls) August 1, 2019
achilles: "cowards", on the other hand, is inclusive, to the point, and dramatic
the ad break includes a commercial for a pill named "otezla" that partially clears skin at the cost of nausea, diarrhea and depression at a listed price of $3,400 for a 30-day supply. anyway back to asking candidates why they'd change our terrific health care system— the norms misser (@cd_hooks) July 31, 2019
im the friend throwing the Rose petals 😭 https://t.co/HFktd4ojnC— unruly (@tyshaqur) August 5, 2019
*More funny tweets.