when I had surgery I assumed that when they were giving me aesthetic that they’d count down from ten like you see on the telly but instead a czech nurse just looked down at me and said “goodbye” and I was gone. i laugh every time i think about it.— dickpic van dyke (@youngcogan) March 1, 2020
All of LA is a stripmall intersection that looks unremarkable but gives you the subtle anxiety that you’re next to a forgotten place that was VERY important to Jonathan Gold— Mɐx Bulger (@maxbulger) February 16, 2020
This ref. 😂pic.twitter.com/pKaQbAah12— The Action Network (@ActionNetworkHQ) February 19, 2020
when I’m walking behind a pigeon and the pigeon anxiously picks up the pace... a brief, uncomfortable power dynamic— JP (@jpbrammer) March 1, 2020
Bisexual legend Li Shang would NEVER use his position as her commanding officer to pressure her into a relationship. It isn't until after Mulan leaves the Chinese army that Shang pursued her. In this essay I will https://t.co/YZTLemqPQK— Sam the great (@teoami) February 27, 2020
A Mulan remake where her commanding officer finds he's falling in love with her and is then *relieved* to find out she's not a man and they can just be friends.— James Palmer (@BeijingPalmer) February 28, 2020
my mom said that back in the 70’s or something they would stop running tv shows at like 2am and they should just show the american flag and for some reason that’s terrifying— ashlyn (@terribletozier) February 29, 2020
Mike Trout is so good at superrich anonymity that he surrounds himself with Decoy Mike Trouts like he’s the Queen of Naboo pic.twitter.com/vTt4BZsJvp— Pablo S. Torre (@PabloTorre) March 2, 2020
One time we did a Friday the 13th escape room and it definitely wasn't licensed, but the description even said you were being held captive by Jason, and on the drive over we were debating the legality of it. We get there and the game master straight up says "So my name is Jason"— Jenny Nicholson don't talk to me about Sonic (@JennyENicholson) March 2, 2020
When you call for police back up and they send a lunatic 😂 pic.twitter.com/Mnml6FsGxz— Trevor Coult MC (@TrevorCoultMC) February 29, 2020
i have been laughing at this all day im crying idk why this is so funny pic.twitter.com/U7ZQlsgXiA— cheese toastie (@harvetmoon) March 3, 2020
*More funny posts.