I admire this logistics company's policy of full disclosure when it comes to doctored quotes pic.twitter.com/7mqg5cYR4O— Laura J. Nelson 🦅 (@laura_nelson) August 13, 2019
lady: omg your puppy is so cute whats his name— butt sword (@buttsword) December 28, 2016
me: laser guardian
INTERVIEWER: tell me about a memorable success— Mel Kassel (@MelKassel) August 13, 2019
ME: one time a skittish dog jumped up on the couch with me and nestled into the curvature of my body like a soft, blessed puzzle piece
INTERVIEWER: ... and a failure
ME: he um. sorry. *through tears* he got up to eat
Next time you make a mistake in lab, just remember: at least you didn't spill Tardigrades on the moon.— Susanna L Harris (@SusannaLHarris) August 7, 2019
This mom influencer is asking her followers for name suggestions for her baby girl and the suggestions are so 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 pic.twitter.com/uWBRniEkNu— Stephanie McNeal (@stephemcneal) August 13, 2019
The evidence is now impossible to ignore: 9 of the 10 earliest Pumpkin Spice Latte release days have been in the last decade https://t.co/5dDhVRoIuA— Tom Gara (@tomgara) August 12, 2019
It's not just that the Pumpkin Spice Latte is arriving earlier each year, it's that its flavors are becoming far more intense and unpredictable— Tom Gara (@tomgara) August 12, 2019
HETROSPECT, n. Realizing things you did in your youth were not, in fact, straight. EX: “In hetrospect, her adolescent fascination with Joan Jett was a sign.”— Felicia "Ray" Davin (@FeliciaDavin) August 10, 2019
How much do you want to bet there’s an aspiring influencer out there pretending to be their own twin for some sort of reverse-The-Prestige clout https://t.co/dfyzJDniWI— Katie Notopoulos (@katienotopoulos) August 12, 2019
when i die shoot my ashes through the fish cannon— Katie Notopoulos (@katienotopoulos) August 12, 2019
— Ducks (@Duck_page) August 12, 2019
*More funny posts.