OMG I opened the door to let the dog in and there was a slug on the door AND IT GOT ON MY HAND SO I SCREAMED LIKE A TODDLER AND THE DOG ATE IT TO PROTECT ME. And now we are both embarrassed.— Cat Herder (@echo262) September 12, 2018
TFW you are desperate and just throwing out any idea that comes to mind, even if it's terrible pic.twitter.com/leDJ9DLp2O— Rurik Bradbury (@RurikBradbury) September 11, 2018
My favorite genre of content is @Cher sneakily calling into C-SPAN to bash the Bush administration pic.twitter.com/U5AlEJ4s5B— Nick Desideri (@NickDesideri) September 12, 2018
I never regret teaching my dad about makeup phrases because now I wake up to texts like this pic.twitter.com/Kicptq5Alo— lima bean (@sleepybitchclub) September 8, 2018
Please note: when I write "Best," as an email sign-off, it's short for "I'm the Best,".— joey alison sayers (@joeyalison) September 13, 2018
This might be my new all-time favorite Apple slide: the many ways to fall down pic.twitter.com/EMM9MP0xKS— David Pierce (@pierce) September 12, 2018
in case this doesn't make it into my column this week pic.twitter.com/APQC0dlpy6— Nicole Cliffe (@Nicole_Cliffe) September 13, 2018
what if u got a supreme sticker after voting— Desus Nice (@desusnice) September 13, 2018
Stephen Strasburg just hit the batter, catcher, and umpire. With the same pitch. 😳 pic.twitter.com/1orqu70aaW— Rudy Gersten (@DCBarno) September 13, 2018
So dramatic! Dude from the weather channel bracing for his life, as 2 dudes just stroll past. #HurricaneFlorence pic.twitter.com/8FRyM4NLbL— Tony scar. (@gourdnibler) September 14, 2018