Why did we call them apps instead of spells?— Joshua McKenty (@jmckenty) March 9, 2019
I have a spell for summoning a chariot; one for conjuring food; several for sending invisible carrier pigeons.
Such a lost opportunity.
When my dog wants attention he gently bites a piece of furniture, holds perfectly still, and makes aggressive eye contact. It’s pretty weird and very funny. Also it works. pic.twitter.com/ktS1tW0U26— AJ Grigg (@Amanda_Grigg) March 10, 2019
I would say 60% of the people in all amusement parks are clearly and visibly miserable.— Daniel Danger (@tinymediaempire) March 6, 2019
The tradition of baking a giant pie in to commemorate important events in the West Riding village began in 1788 to celebrate King George III no longer being mentally ill. Unclear why they chose a pie but the medium is the message. It seemed like a good thing that people enjoyed. pic.twitter.com/ZT7DSkm6PU— Jim Waterson (@jimwaterson) March 10, 2019
Is inspector gadget cyberpunk— Sarah Gailey (@gaileyfrey) March 11, 2019
I don't know if this was intentional or not, but...... pic.twitter.com/Z3NMCxvI6G— Jeff Rothman (KIRSTIN TODAY!) (A&A 69) (PTX 87) (@amazingjr87) March 10, 2019
My only regret is that Saddam Hussein passed away before he could go on the Joe Rogan experience— Lockheed R. R. Martin (@mywifecameback) March 5, 2019
just had to intervene to stop my partner throwing away a tiny spoon she never uses. Because it's the spoon I use to eat honey from the jar when I'm feeling sad.— alex hern (@alexhern) March 7, 2019
Hi apparently I'm pooh bear
When you’re a Nine Inch Nails fan but you’re also really into being motivated pic.twitter.com/oYO2bai9BD— Ned Ehrbar (@nedehrbar) March 11, 2019
The hand luggage policy of Qatar Airways is fantastic pic.twitter.com/TVDNjh4OwM— Ned Donovan (@Ned_Donovan) March 11, 2019
*More funny tweets.