Imagine being a moose, thinking you're safe, looking up and seeing a wolf parachuting down towards you and your moose family https://t.co/tJE9kBWEsN— James Felton (@JimMFelton) March 7, 2019
The human arm is roughly 4 feet long pic.twitter.com/Si4oAinYFT— brandon sheffield (@necrosofty) March 8, 2019
In Logan’s Run they have sex teleporters but they don’t use them to get around. They use cars in tubes to get around and they only use the teleporters to summon random hookups. They have teleporters but it’s sex only. Please explain— Laura Michet (@lmichet) March 7, 2019
One of the things I like about Britain is that people show absolute disinterest -total blanking - in the extraordinarily, extremely, silly concept of a giant rhinoceros as a fellow passenger upon their commuter train. pic.twitter.com/gQ8uVc7ERo— Tim Dunn (@MrTimDunn) March 7, 2019
My grandmother almost got lost at sea in Iceland today lmaoooo pic.twitter.com/osHrwTEkyr— babygirl, u dont know (@Xiushook) February 25, 2019
Oh lord. Ernie just discovered the unused cat door on the garage door. Buddy...it’s not gonna happen. pic.twitter.com/O3k9PoONjw— The Wombat Resists (@UrsulaV) February 28, 2019
So I’ve known about this for a minute, but I wanted it to be official before I said anything. I can finally announce that my landlord screwed a piece of cardboard to the wall pic.twitter.com/dnbRtDFRnQ— Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) March 7, 2019
My therapist: <laughs at a joke I said>— sara mchenry (@yellowcardigan) March 6, 2019
Me (to myself): This is great. I’m going to get a good grade in therapy, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve,
I love to see the community come together like this pic.twitter.com/63Akx7qZLW— MM. (@meldotmel) March 5, 2019
every time I walk my dog by this lawyers office it gives me so much anxiety. pic.twitter.com/lAgtCOeVC0— Jacob Wohl premium snapchat (@Cryptoterra) March 7, 2019
*More funny tweets.