don't get a black rug if you have a black cat. pic.twitter.com/iX2gGZpOv9— Kevin 🏳️⚧️ 🏳️🌈 (@MapsCats) September 23, 2019
So I’m at Chili’s and just got hit in the back of the head with a straw wrapper. I turned around and immediately a 65+ year old lady started apologizing saying she was aiming for her husband. Then they both started giggling.— ry (@ryleeemlock) September 22, 2019
If that’s not me when I’m older idk.
hahahahaha 👏 pic.twitter.com/46V9wSTRMA— Barry Malone (@malonebarry) September 24, 2019
— Matt Bors (@MattBors) September 23, 2019
Merry and Pippen after being captured by the Uruk-hai and taken towards Isengard: https://t.co/o9ibQYXuGJ— Joshua Lana Del Ray (@joshuaray) September 24, 2019
does it ever fuck you up thinking about how old versions of you still exist to people out there. people you haven't talked to in years remember who you used to be and nothing about who you are now, and they're out there with memories of a version of you that kinda sucks— cham @ fe3h GD #2 run (@CHIMCHAMS95) September 13, 2019
THERAPIST: do you want to talk about— taylor swift boat veteran for truth (@AliceAvizandum) August 29, 2017
ME: no no nO doc that's a load bearing neurosis, you move it and this whole thing comes down around us
I often think about the time a woman in my office said good morning, and I said good morning back, and then later I saw a twitter thread from her that was like “My mission today was to be kind to a coworker who always seems like he’s in a bad mood. The way his face lit up—“— JuanPa (@jpbrammer) September 23, 2019
i am addicted to this metal box i compulsively stroke and prod to find more information on my enemies— 𝘋𝘈𝘙𝘊𝘐𝘌 𝘞𝘐𝘓𝘋𝘌𝘙 (@333333333433333) September 25, 2019
Baby elephants are known to throw temper tantrums when frustrated or tired. pic.twitter.com/cGaPG0t9sc— UberFacts (@UberFacts) June 7, 2019
*More funny tweets.