My dad forgot the word for "macaron" so called them Draculas to my confusion, and then he explained pic.twitter.com/vnPJ8LNP54— RubyDian (@RubyDianArts) September 24, 2019
The rules are it’s only a quid pro quo if you actually say those words. Otherwise it’s just a sparkling favor.— Ernie Tedeschi (@ernietedeschi) September 26, 2019
Might fuck around and read a 50-tweet thread of impeachment analysis written by someone whose bio just says “hufflepuff” + a paypal link— Kenny Keil (@kennykeil) September 24, 2019
once a month some hedge fund manager or another goes on TV and says like "if you vote for anyone who says the rich have too much power I swear to god I will dictate the course of this election"— Law Boy, Esq. (@The_Law_Boy) September 26, 2019
According to most health insurance companies, teeth are luxury bones that I must pay more to continue enjoying— Dan Sheehan (@ItsDanSheehan) April 16, 2019
For years, I’ve been getting emails for another Lauchlin MacDonald who is an actor. He just got his big break today and was cast to play Chris Cornell in a Brad Pitt-produced biopic.— Lauchlin MacDonald (@Lauchlin) September 27, 2019
Hi, new followers! That’s not me, but thanks for your best wishes and vague threats!
I am dying at this description of the most preposterous scene from The Mummy Returns pic.twitter.com/sWZC4mEtyi— Jacob deNobel (@Jacob_deNobel) September 25, 2019
When it’s rookie dress up day, but you’re all in it together! Love our squad! #LABleedsBlue pic.twitter.com/BYzQOvmxU0— Kristopher Negrón (@KNegs17) September 27, 2019
*More funny posts.