This dude is the Brazilian Ed Hochuli pic.twitter.com/AXPX7s0APD— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) June 16, 2019
interviewer: you have a 3 year gap on your resume that just says “vengeance”— Conajam (@conajam) June 14, 2019
me: you don’t remember me do you?
Royals' Martin Maldonado has a necktie on his catcher's gear for Father's Day pic.twitter.com/DCel3FqA2j— Board Man Gets Paid (@cjzero) June 16, 2019
After two years working in estate planning, I'm bummed out that nobody has ever hired us to do a Westing Game https://t.co/v1hmulhXut— Natalie Prado (@mightbenatalie) June 13, 2019
All day I been crying about this pic.twitter.com/wEl38HJiUL— MAMA AFRICA (@thatgirlsalina) June 13, 2019
#OperationMincemeat reminded me of two very important facts. One is that NASA have a man whose job it is to smell every piece of equipment before it goes into space. If he says it smells wrong it doesn't go into space.— ~ (@daniel_barker) June 11, 2019
This makes me uncomfortable. Which is it?! Wings or arms? I don’t like this. pic.twitter.com/oB69B9dtdZ— Louie Mantia Jr. (@Mantia) June 15, 2019
Gary Woodland on how he switched from basketball to golf: “That decision got forced on me. I had to guard Kirk Hinrich, and I realized, I’m going to have to do something else.”— Jay Busbee (@jaybusbee) June 17, 2019
After doing some research, it appears that tomato juice only works when combined with vodka and a celery stick. Doesn’t remove the smell, but you stop caring.— Josh Reich (@i2pi) June 17, 2019
In the end, baking soda + peroxide did the trick.
Bob! What the fuck is going on with my water? pic.twitter.com/uNALmfBBys— jamie (@gnuman1979) May 4, 2019
*More funny tweets.