today my dog lay down waiting for a dog she had never met to catch up with us so she could make a new friend and then the dog's person asked if we wanted to WALK TOGETHER. so my advice is to never get a dog more social than you are— the softball watcher (@alyssakeiko) June 2, 2019
all of my favorite cooking tools have been stolen from people who wronged me— kep (@keplyq) June 2, 2019
OH MY GOD— Linsey Miller is for real on hiatus now. 🌒💜 (@LinseyMiller) June 2, 2019
A CHILD ON THIS FLIGHT HAS ONLY ONE CARRY-ON ITEM/PERSONAL ITEM
AND IT IS A TINY REPLICA OF CAPTAIN AMERICA'S SHIELD
Another in my occasional series of saints holding architectural models while stepping on Satan. This one from Exeter. pic.twitter.com/JGhtLbMKSE— edwin heathcote (@edwinheathcote) June 2, 2019
the adoption of the athlesiure vest as the de facto ‘midtown uniform’ corporate wear has its origins in dystopian science fiction, in this ted talk I will pic.twitter.com/coo179kjl9— Tim Maughan (@timmaughan) June 1, 2019
Was that really necessary wolverine pic.twitter.com/FpsBAWmrDc— CommissionModeWuffinarts (@WuffinArts) May 28, 2019
Last night I learned that my cousin's mom told him he had to get more involved in extracurriculars in high school (for his college apps). So he started a Volvo fan club called SUAVE the Students with an Understanding and Appreciation of Volvo Excellence and put it on his resume— hannah (@DrDoctorHannah) June 1, 2019
My plans for spelling bee reform:— James Dator (@James_Dator) May 31, 2019
1. No ties.
2. Kids spell until they can’t anymore.
3. 1 am — They lose the ability to hear the word in a sentence.
4. 2 am — The word is not repeated back.
5. 3 am — Every word is a small Welsh town
During this hot weather can I just remind everyone to not leave their goths unattended in a hot car. Goths die in hot cars.— Sarah Gordon (@notsarahgordon) June 1, 2019
Watch Will Smith’s drenching in slow motion and you’ll see @alannarizzo’s first step back is in sync with the bucket going up and she waits until the last possible moment to peace out for maximum surprise. This is an elite level skill. pic.twitter.com/WWEK8NVpHZ— Todd Munson (@themunson) June 2, 2019
*More funny posts.