Ten funny tweets

Nobody else in this Taco Bell is as goth as me

— Dr. Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) June 1, 2019

I love Allison Tolman pic.twitter.com/xMhZ8KTmKr

— Stuart (@chainbear) May 30, 2019

My Cat: REMEMBER THE PACTS FORGED BETWEEN OUR PEOPLES LONG AGO.

Me: Stop it, it's 6 in the morning.

Cat: YOU PLEDGED ETERNAL SERVITUDE.

Me: I did not.

Cat: IN EXCHANGE WE WOULD COME TO YOUR AID IN YOUR HOUR OF NEED.

Me: I'm not feeding you.

Cat: REMEMBER THE PACTS.

— Christian Hoffer 🔜 Origins (@CHofferCBus) May 31, 2019

No good way to get pulled from the mound — but if I gotta’ go, I’m going out via segway too. ⁦@TheSavBananas⁩ pic.twitter.com/t8UaXIgN4k

— Travis Jaudon (@JaudonSports) May 31, 2019

JOURNALISTS: “how would you like to be quoted? retired Marine? former sergeant?”

ME: pic.twitter.com/8LcXj4RkBY

— The Warax, a Hippo Appreciator 🦛💨 (@iAmTheWarax) May 30, 2019

"what's the best and least creepy way to show that we care about diversity" pic.twitter.com/EUogJrCS7T

— bobby 🌏 (@touchmybobby) November 5, 2017

chasing the high that baby shark gives to babies

— 𝔟𝔯𝔦 (@ufobri) May 26, 2019

me: time to sleep

anxiety: time for my one-woman show

— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) May 30, 2019

Gotta watch where you're standing when the sprinklers turn on 😂 (h/t @AnthonyIrwinLA) pic.twitter.com/4yuOCL3R82

— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) June 1, 2019

Danger Taps pic.twitter.com/Gm7Yl2sj2M

— Meow Library (@meowlibrary) June 1, 2019

*More funny posts.